Before I get into it, Happy New Year.
I see a lot of changes coming. I hope positive ones are among the best ones I’ll remember at this year’s end.
I have to tell you, I’ve been feeling a little mortal and out of sorts lately. Don’t get me wrong, I feel fine, but the climate around me seems… well, less than optimum.
My brother is about three years younger than me. He was diagnosed with ALS and has the dementia that often accompanies it. From what I can estimate, it started becoming noticeable about a year ago, but it’s slow steady progress made it difficult to recognize, since I don’t see him that much. Now, it’s full-blown and causing a lot of anxiety in the family. What’s made it worse is that he has an 11 year-old daughter. I don’t know if she fully grasps what going on with her dad, but she has to feel a little powerless right now. We all do. His speech is so bad I can barely understand him when he talks. All we can do is watch and wait. It’s incredibly painful to see such a strong personality waste away before your eyes. Memories and experiences withering like a dying oak tree. There is so much about this that I don’t understand.
The political and geo-political situations leave me at a loss for words. I’m not very happy with either of them, but I can do little but watch and try to stay abreast of them both. Hiding your head in the sand accomplishes nothing, but that’s what I feel like doing.
The whole presidential candidate thing leaves me at a loss for words. We haven’t had “the right person for the job” in a very long time, and I can tell right now, it’s going to come down to voting against the person I really don’t want instead of for the person I do want.
The rest of the world seems to be tearing itself apart a little at a time. There seems to be so much hatred. People are not looking for solutions. They just want to promote violence for its own sake. There is no talk that will appease them or bring them to a point of discussion. They just look to the next act of violence or adversity as their pointless goal. Our answer to this is escalation and confrontation, with helpless victims caught in the crossfire. So many innocent lives lost.
The weather has cooled off considerably, and you’d think it would inspire me to get busier and do some of the things I’ve been putting off, but it seems to have had the opposite effect. I find I read more, and get quiet and introspective when the time permits, but my honey-do list seems to be suffering as a result. I scold myself for dragging my feet, but it seems to have had little impact.
My only escape from all of this is my twice-weekly game of racquetball with my youngest son, Aaron. It is the one time during the week when I feel free of the everyday bonds, and can pour myself into something that demands my full attention. We both enjoy the time immensely, and if forces me to forget about everything, if for just a short while. It’s a nice friendly game of “try to destroy the other person.” We always have a few laughs, and walk away with a feeling of accomplishment.
I’d like to fire myself up about other things, as much as I do our racquetball game. I guess I need to stop paying attention to the disagreeable things going on around me. There are a lot of good things going on. Maybe it’s time I start finding and enjoying them. Nobody likes a wet blanket.
