Although it’s been a while since I’ve added anything to this page, it doesn’t mean that I’ve been idle. Let me catch you up.
Back in the first of August I had an MRI, which was good, and on October 3, I had another MRI, which was also fine. I commented to my doctor that even though I’ve been off of the chemo since May, and for that matter everything else as well, things have continued to look great. We are both encouraged by this fact. The longer I go with no problems, the better things look that we have beaten this thing. Although I can’t relax for a while, I listen to stories from people like Lance Armstrong and others, and hope that my success can be added to theirs, of people that have looked death in the face and survived. My doctor also made it clear that my situation is extremely rare, and I have multiple options for future treatment that others in my situation don’t have. How lucky can one guy get? Not much I think.
During the last couple of months I have gone through some sort of cold or flu malady. This was really a major pain. Throughout the last year and a half, while going though all the chemo and having my condition and resistance in a less than optimum condition, I never once got sick. Now that I’ve been off that stuff for a while, I seem to be more susceptible. How weird is that?
About a month and a half ago I picked up some sort of bug, missed a few days of work, and felt funky for about a week with it. What followed though, was another month of feeling less than normal. My upper respiratory system was aching most of the time, I had a lot of sinus headaches, the lump of crap in the back of my throat never seemed to go away, and my energy level was continuously in the pits. I felt worse than when I was on the chemo, and it dragged on and on. I was beginning to feel like I was never going to feel normal again. I continued to try to work out and play racquetball (my son Aaron kicks my butt no matter what anyway), but the extra activity taxed my system, and I usually paid for it later.
The only consolation was that I wasn’t alone. All around me at work, you could hear the same sort of coughing, hacking, and sneezing I had been going through. Most of the time, they sounded even worse than I did. Some of the people around me got it before I did, and were still struggling with it even after I was more or less back to normal. My workmate, who sits in the next cube from me, got the same thing. He was out of work for an entire week, and spent the next month or more sounding worse than I ever did. Some people are still struggling with whatever it is, and it’s been at least three months or more since this whole cycle of sickness started. Actually, by the time my part was over with, I felt like I had done better than most, but one thing began to become clear, it was the environment we were working in that was the culprit for all of our combined misery.
I had read somewhere that some working environments were responsible for perpetuating health problems, but it hasn’t been until lately that realized that we were spending most of our working day in one of them. We spend more of the working day breathing the same air, in cloth walled and carpeted cubicles that were probably a breeding ground for dust and bacteria. We were all adding to it by showing up to work partially sick and spreading our germs into the air, but all of this woven material was soaking it up and keeping it there for us to rebreathe every day thereafter. I looked forward to getting out of the building at lunch, just to get a little fresh air. A lot other people feel the same way, but we are just one time voice in a large corporate machine, so our opinions count for little, and no one listens anyway.
I’m taking vacation now with Sue. This is the first real vacation we’ve taken since we moved back to the USA from Korea, back in January of 2005… and it feels fantastic. It’s funny though… here we are back in Seoul and loving every minute of it.
It is particularly liberating for me. Could feel the stress melt away the moment I got on the plane. Singapore Airline was always my favorite, but they have even gone up a couple notches from there. They have upgraded their planes and service since I last flew with them, so it is even nicer than before, and the twelve-hour plus flight was as nice as it could possibly could be. Flying first class would be the only improvement I could make, but coach now with Singapore Air is the best I’ve experienced.
Here in Korea, I am as relaxed as a body can be. I have no cell phone, no watch, no worries, no money (Sue has that), no timetable, and no interest in changing the status on my busy (NOT) schedule. This is a true vacation, and a total brain-break. The only way it would improve is if I had no reason to go back. Of course that’s not going to happen, so I’m taking full advantage of the current situation.
I hope you’ll excuse the length of this. I’m just feeling… well, relaxed.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
A new spot on the map
While I was chatting with my doctor the other day, the subject of food came up. Knowing that Sue is Korean, she asked me if I knew of a good Korean restaurant. I said, "Well, no. The only Korean food I've found worth my time is at my house."
She laughed and said she likes kimchi, but didn't know of any place in the valley I could recommend. I guess she felt that I'm the resident expert. I'm not, but after having lived in Korea for a while, my taste buds have matured a bit. Sort of like trying to find REAL Mexican food in Arizona as well. It's very hard. In the USA, we've managed to Americanize ethnic food from every corner of the globe to our own taste, and causing it to lose virtually all of the stuff that made it great ethnic food. There are exceptions, but you have to do a lot of searching and experimentation before finding a shining star... if there is one.
Anyway, the same day that my doctor and I had our conversation, I was driving home from work on a different route, because my car was running on fumes. On my way to get gas, I passed a restaurant that I never saw there before. It's called the Manna Cafe. It was clearly Korean, because there was Hangul right on their sign.
On Saturday, Sue and I went there, because I had to check this place out. Well, I can say now that it was worth the effort. I had their mushroom tofu soup, and Sue had a humongous bowl of noodles. The side dishes were a tasty addition as well. They were all of what I remembered from my time in Korea, but I think I'm going to have to go back a few more times to check out more items on the menu to be sure. I'm just glad it's only a few miles from work, making it a short drive for some great Korean food.
She laughed and said she likes kimchi, but didn't know of any place in the valley I could recommend. I guess she felt that I'm the resident expert. I'm not, but after having lived in Korea for a while, my taste buds have matured a bit. Sort of like trying to find REAL Mexican food in Arizona as well. It's very hard. In the USA, we've managed to Americanize ethnic food from every corner of the globe to our own taste, and causing it to lose virtually all of the stuff that made it great ethnic food. There are exceptions, but you have to do a lot of searching and experimentation before finding a shining star... if there is one.
Anyway, the same day that my doctor and I had our conversation, I was driving home from work on a different route, because my car was running on fumes. On my way to get gas, I passed a restaurant that I never saw there before. It's called the Manna Cafe. It was clearly Korean, because there was Hangul right on their sign.
On Saturday, Sue and I went there, because I had to check this place out. Well, I can say now that it was worth the effort. I had their mushroom tofu soup, and Sue had a humongous bowl of noodles. The side dishes were a tasty addition as well. They were all of what I remembered from my time in Korea, but I think I'm going to have to go back a few more times to check out more items on the menu to be sure. I'm just glad it's only a few miles from work, making it a short drive for some great Korean food.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
You learn something new every day
I haven't talked much lately about my progress or status of Glioblastoma Multiforme (brain tumor) they removed from my head last year, and as time goes on, I suppose I'll be talking even less, but today I had my latest MRI. The results showed no change, which is great. That means that as far as anyone can see (and it's been about 18 months or so since this whole thing began, and two months since the termination of any treatment) there has been no growth or detectable difference in my status. Of course this is fantastic news, and my doctors couldn't be more pleased.
But I learned something today. The MRI tech, Karl (big guy, nice as they come), had a few minutes before his next appointment, so we talked about a few things... drag racing, kids, and the MRI system. They do the MRI with and without contrast, to get a better look at what's going on. To give added contrast to the image, they inject a fluid with has magnetic properties. I never knew what it was, but Karl told me the stuff is called Gadolinium... Number 64 on the Periodic Table. Being the curious techie sort that I am, I looked it up. I recommend that you do the same, but in short, here's what I learned.
Gadolinium is used in nuclear marine propulsion systems as a burnable poison. The gadolinium slows the initial reaction rate, but as it decays other neutron poisons accumulate, allowing for long-running cores. Gadolinium is also used as a secondary, emergency shut-down measure in some nuclear reactors, particularly of the CANDU type. The CANDU reactor is a pressurized heavy water reactor developed initially in the late 1950s and 1960s.
Gadolinium also possesses unusual metallurgic properties, with as little as 1% of gadolinium improving the workability and resistance of iron, chromium and related alloys to high temperatures and oxidation.
Because of their paramagnetic properties, solutions of organic gadolinium complexes and gadolinium compounds are used as intravenous radiocontrast agents to enhance images in medical magnetic resonance imaging. Magnevist is the most widespread example.
Besides MRI, gadolinium (Gd) is also used in other imaging. In X-ray, gadolinium is contained in the phosphor layer suspending in a polymer matrix at the detector. Terbium-doped gadolinium oxysulfide (Gd2O2S: Tb) at the phosphor layer is to convert the X-rays releasing from the source into light. Gd can emit at 540nm (green light spectrum = 520 – 570nm), which is very useful for enhancing the imaging quality of the X-ray that are exposed to the photographic film.
A "nm" is nanometer for those of you who were wondering. A nanometer is a unit of spatial measurement that is 10-9 meter, or one billionth of a meter. It is commonly used in nanotechnology, the building of extremely small machines.
Anyway, beside Gd's spectrum range, the compound also has a K-edge at 50 kiloelectron volt (keV), which means its absorption of X-ray through photoelectric interactions is great. The energy conversion of Gd is up to 20%, which means, one-fifth of the X-ray striking on the phosphor layer can be converted into light photons.
I found it interesting anyway, but then I've got the stuff floating around in my system for a while. This accounts for my magnetic personality, er uh, well maybe.
But I learned something today. The MRI tech, Karl (big guy, nice as they come), had a few minutes before his next appointment, so we talked about a few things... drag racing, kids, and the MRI system. They do the MRI with and without contrast, to get a better look at what's going on. To give added contrast to the image, they inject a fluid with has magnetic properties. I never knew what it was, but Karl told me the stuff is called Gadolinium... Number 64 on the Periodic Table. Being the curious techie sort that I am, I looked it up. I recommend that you do the same, but in short, here's what I learned.
Gadolinium is used in nuclear marine propulsion systems as a burnable poison. The gadolinium slows the initial reaction rate, but as it decays other neutron poisons accumulate, allowing for long-running cores. Gadolinium is also used as a secondary, emergency shut-down measure in some nuclear reactors, particularly of the CANDU type. The CANDU reactor is a pressurized heavy water reactor developed initially in the late 1950s and 1960s.
Gadolinium also possesses unusual metallurgic properties, with as little as 1% of gadolinium improving the workability and resistance of iron, chromium and related alloys to high temperatures and oxidation.
Because of their paramagnetic properties, solutions of organic gadolinium complexes and gadolinium compounds are used as intravenous radiocontrast agents to enhance images in medical magnetic resonance imaging. Magnevist is the most widespread example.
Besides MRI, gadolinium (Gd) is also used in other imaging. In X-ray, gadolinium is contained in the phosphor layer suspending in a polymer matrix at the detector. Terbium-doped gadolinium oxysulfide (Gd2O2S: Tb) at the phosphor layer is to convert the X-rays releasing from the source into light. Gd can emit at 540nm (green light spectrum = 520 – 570nm), which is very useful for enhancing the imaging quality of the X-ray that are exposed to the photographic film.
A "nm" is nanometer for those of you who were wondering. A nanometer is a unit of spatial measurement that is 10-9 meter, or one billionth of a meter. It is commonly used in nanotechnology, the building of extremely small machines.
Anyway, beside Gd's spectrum range, the compound also has a K-edge at 50 kiloelectron volt (keV), which means its absorption of X-ray through photoelectric interactions is great. The energy conversion of Gd is up to 20%, which means, one-fifth of the X-ray striking on the phosphor layer can be converted into light photons.
I found it interesting anyway, but then I've got the stuff floating around in my system for a while. This accounts for my magnetic personality, er uh, well maybe.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Music worth your time
I'm a huge fan of internet radio for three main reasons...
1. I hate the chat and other things from DJ's, etc.
2. I don't like the break-up of songs (not playing the whole thing, interrupting the stream of consciousness [mood] for things like commercials, etc.
3. Primarily though, because I can hear great music not played on standard radio stations.... Little known artists, other tracks on albums often ignored, and music from other countries and cultures not available elsewhere.
There are plenty of secondary reasons, but these cover the main points.
I can listen wherever I have an internet connection, and since I've gone wireless in our home, I've connected a computer to our stereo, so we can play it all day long, with no interruptions... just great music. And because they post the information on the music they play, I can get the name of the tunes and artists I like and buy the CDs for my own collection.
My taste in music is about as broad as it gets (sorry though... not much country, and no rap or hip hop). I like to experiment listening to other culture's music, because you'll never know what might hit you just the right way. However I am an old time rock & roller at heart. At work though, and at home too, I find my taste is a little toned down. I want to relax and give my mind a break from the stress of the day.
Some radio stations also transmit on the internet, but I only listen to the ones with no talk and no commercials.
Some of my favorites are:
KCDX - Rock & Roll
Sky.fm - Where you can find a large assortment of music. I like their New Age channel.
Digitally Imported - Lots more of the same.
While listening, I found a fantastic husband and wife group called Laliya. They are in Perth, Australia and have a sound that I find relaxing and at the same time painting pictures in my mind and taking me places I've never been before. If you're curious enough to check them out, go to MySpace and give them a listen. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
1. I hate the chat and other things from DJ's, etc.
2. I don't like the break-up of songs (not playing the whole thing, interrupting the stream of consciousness [mood] for things like commercials, etc.
3. Primarily though, because I can hear great music not played on standard radio stations.... Little known artists, other tracks on albums often ignored, and music from other countries and cultures not available elsewhere.
There are plenty of secondary reasons, but these cover the main points.
I can listen wherever I have an internet connection, and since I've gone wireless in our home, I've connected a computer to our stereo, so we can play it all day long, with no interruptions... just great music. And because they post the information on the music they play, I can get the name of the tunes and artists I like and buy the CDs for my own collection.
My taste in music is about as broad as it gets (sorry though... not much country, and no rap or hip hop). I like to experiment listening to other culture's music, because you'll never know what might hit you just the right way. However I am an old time rock & roller at heart. At work though, and at home too, I find my taste is a little toned down. I want to relax and give my mind a break from the stress of the day.
Some radio stations also transmit on the internet, but I only listen to the ones with no talk and no commercials.
Some of my favorites are:
KCDX - Rock & Roll
Sky.fm - Where you can find a large assortment of music. I like their New Age channel.
Digitally Imported - Lots more of the same.
While listening, I found a fantastic husband and wife group called Laliya. They are in Perth, Australia and have a sound that I find relaxing and at the same time painting pictures in my mind and taking me places I've never been before. If you're curious enough to check them out, go to MySpace and give them a listen. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
There is no God
I was raised Catholic. As a youth I attended church, served the church as a alter boy, and felt that what I was doing was right and had purpose. As I got older and began to analyze my thinking more closely I could see there were flaws in my faith. I watched as people around me (very intelligent people) rationalized the things they had no control over (or placed accountability) on something they could not see, feel, or even prove the existence of.
As science and technology has advanced and we have learned much more beyond applying existing knowledge to something, or even applying blind faith to some occurance, it has become ever more apparent that there is no God. There is only us, and what we do with our time while we are here on earth.
I do not argue the point well, so I do not get into discussions on religeon, but I found a few sites that substantiate what I know in my own mind to be true.
Proof that there is no God by Fredrik Bendz, There is No God by Penn Jillette, and There is No God (And You Know It) by Sam Harris
These sites express my sentiments, and validate by own belief that we are here for the time we are here... and no more.
As science and technology has advanced and we have learned much more beyond applying existing knowledge to something, or even applying blind faith to some occurance, it has become ever more apparent that there is no God. There is only us, and what we do with our time while we are here on earth.
I do not argue the point well, so I do not get into discussions on religeon, but I found a few sites that substantiate what I know in my own mind to be true.
Proof that there is no God by Fredrik Bendz, There is No God by Penn Jillette, and There is No God (And You Know It) by Sam Harris
These sites express my sentiments, and validate by own belief that we are here for the time we are here... and no more.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
And now for something completely different
On Monday, June 11, I learned a new word...
in·nu·en·do
Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[in-yoo-en-doh]
–noun, plural -dos, -does.
1. an indirect intimation about a person or thing, esp. of a disparaging or a derogatory nature.
2. Law.
a. a parenthetic explanation or specification in a pleading.
b. (in an action for slander or libel) the explanation and elucidation of the words alleged to be defamatory.
c. the word or expression thus explained.
New definitions based on experience:
3. An Italian suppository.
4. A colonoscopy.
Ok, seriously now... I had my first colonoscopy on Monday. And while there are a lot of jokes and laughs that come out of the preparation part, it's a serious and simple procedure that I now feel that every person should have done, when the time is right.
Other than having to take a day off work, it's virtually painless and easy to do. I had a certain amout of trepidation about the whole thing, but most of that was from ignorance. However, I knew that it was important that I do this, so I did. When it was all over, I thought to myself, "What's the big deal? That was a piece of cake."
Normally if they don't find anything, you can expect to go back in about ten years for a follow-up. In my case, they removed a couple of polyps, so I need to go back in three years, instead. If you're wondering what polyps are, check out this site...
Colon Polyps
This covers the subject well, and should answer any questions.
If you're at risk (which I am not), then it's all the more important to talk to your doctor about having one done. Don't wait and don't put it off.
Now that it's all over, I want to recommend to any of you that are getting ready to have the procedure, or are putting it off for one reason or another... get it done. It can save your life, or at the very least, give you some piece of mind.
Besides, everyone can use an extra day off work.
in·nu·en·do
Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[in-yoo-en-doh]
–noun, plural -dos, -does.
1. an indirect intimation about a person or thing, esp. of a disparaging or a derogatory nature.
2. Law.
a. a parenthetic explanation or specification in a pleading.
b. (in an action for slander or libel) the explanation and elucidation of the words alleged to be defamatory.
c. the word or expression thus explained.
New definitions based on experience:
3. An Italian suppository.
4. A colonoscopy.
Ok, seriously now... I had my first colonoscopy on Monday. And while there are a lot of jokes and laughs that come out of the preparation part, it's a serious and simple procedure that I now feel that every person should have done, when the time is right.
Other than having to take a day off work, it's virtually painless and easy to do. I had a certain amout of trepidation about the whole thing, but most of that was from ignorance. However, I knew that it was important that I do this, so I did. When it was all over, I thought to myself, "What's the big deal? That was a piece of cake."
Normally if they don't find anything, you can expect to go back in about ten years for a follow-up. In my case, they removed a couple of polyps, so I need to go back in three years, instead. If you're wondering what polyps are, check out this site...
Colon Polyps
This covers the subject well, and should answer any questions.
If you're at risk (which I am not), then it's all the more important to talk to your doctor about having one done. Don't wait and don't put it off.
Now that it's all over, I want to recommend to any of you that are getting ready to have the procedure, or are putting it off for one reason or another... get it done. It can save your life, or at the very least, give you some piece of mind.
Besides, everyone can use an extra day off work.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
June 07 is finally here
It‘s been a while since I’ve had time to sit down and write something, although it’s been near the top of my list for the past couple of weeks.
I’ve been enjoying my freedom from chemo treatments, and although it’ll be a little while longer before it’s out of my system, I can already begin to notice the difference. What I have to do now is make an effort to use that energy to get some things done. After spending the last year and a half in energy saving mode, getting my butt moving is not always easy. I’m about 25 lbs. heavier now, so that is the first thing that has to be addressed. I’ve increased my workouts a little, but that takes breaking habits I’ve accumulated. Bad Tink!
Sue’s garden is producing well, and although it’s our first attempt at doing this, we’re both happy with the result. At least I’ve shown myself I don’t always kill every plant I try to grow. Some of them have proven to be quite tasty. Allowing something to ripen on the vine is, of course, vastly superior to buying something picked prematurely and displayed in the grocery store.
Sue’s sister and husband are coming for a visit from Korea at the end of the month and I will be glad to see them again. I can’t speak Korean, but we seem to enjoy each other’s company all the same. Sue is kept busy at translating, but she doesn’t seem to mind doing it. I’m sure I bug her a lot about what I’m missing, but she smiles and puts up with all my questions.
We had an even bigger surprise within the past couple of weeks. Sue’s sister managed to find Sue’s kids in Seoul after 15 years of not having contact. I’ll talk more about this in the future, but I had always wished that she would be able to reestablish contact with them. When she came to America, and time wore on, I had all but given up hope.
Finding them is fantastic news. They haven’t actually spoken or emailed each other yet, but that will all happen very soon. The next few weeks are going to get really interesting.
I’ve been enjoying my freedom from chemo treatments, and although it’ll be a little while longer before it’s out of my system, I can already begin to notice the difference. What I have to do now is make an effort to use that energy to get some things done. After spending the last year and a half in energy saving mode, getting my butt moving is not always easy. I’m about 25 lbs. heavier now, so that is the first thing that has to be addressed. I’ve increased my workouts a little, but that takes breaking habits I’ve accumulated. Bad Tink!
Sue’s garden is producing well, and although it’s our first attempt at doing this, we’re both happy with the result. At least I’ve shown myself I don’t always kill every plant I try to grow. Some of them have proven to be quite tasty. Allowing something to ripen on the vine is, of course, vastly superior to buying something picked prematurely and displayed in the grocery store.
Sue’s sister and husband are coming for a visit from Korea at the end of the month and I will be glad to see them again. I can’t speak Korean, but we seem to enjoy each other’s company all the same. Sue is kept busy at translating, but she doesn’t seem to mind doing it. I’m sure I bug her a lot about what I’m missing, but she smiles and puts up with all my questions.
We had an even bigger surprise within the past couple of weeks. Sue’s sister managed to find Sue’s kids in Seoul after 15 years of not having contact. I’ll talk more about this in the future, but I had always wished that she would be able to reestablish contact with them. When she came to America, and time wore on, I had all but given up hope.
Finding them is fantastic news. They haven’t actually spoken or emailed each other yet, but that will all happen very soon. The next few weeks are going to get really interesting.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
A May to remember
May has been a great month in a number of ways, but the best two both relate to health.
Number one… I took my last series of chemo at the beginning of May. I can’t believe it’s finally over… well, yes I can. It’s been a long time coming, and while I was taking the stuff, I didn’t think this time would ever come. It’ll take a couple of months to clear it from my system, but it’s been about two and a half weeks since the last dose, and I already feel so much better. My weight workouts are already getting stronger, and my racquetball games against my son are returning to the pre-chemo days (last night we played for an hour and got one and a half games in). I’ve packed on an extra 25 lbs. since this whole adventure started, so this has GOT to be the first thing to go.
Number two… I had an MRI yesterday, and it came through looking like every other one I’ve had since the surgery. Clear with no sign of anything going on. This is fantastic news! I looked at the scans with my doctor, and if there weren’t a date visible on the scan you wouldn’t be able to tell one scan from another.
We are stretching out my visits now, so it won’t be such a regular thing anymore. I have also started making plans with dates out there a ways. I’ve lived my life in two-month increments for the past year and a half, so it feels terrific to be able to look ahead and see a little further down the road. I'm already beginning to view this whole experience as just a side trip with some valuable lessons included. Now I can get back on the main highway and enjoy the scenery again.
The last year and a half was tough on my Sue. She didn’t sign on to our journey together to have her mettle put to the test like this. However, she has stuck in there and been with me fighting this every step of the way. I’m sure there were a lot of times when the worry and stress were not easy to overcome, but she never let me see that side of her. She has always been one of the bravest and most resolute people I’ve known. Now it’s time for me to return some of that energy to her. I can never give her back all that she has given, but I’m sure as hell going to try.
Number one… I took my last series of chemo at the beginning of May. I can’t believe it’s finally over… well, yes I can. It’s been a long time coming, and while I was taking the stuff, I didn’t think this time would ever come. It’ll take a couple of months to clear it from my system, but it’s been about two and a half weeks since the last dose, and I already feel so much better. My weight workouts are already getting stronger, and my racquetball games against my son are returning to the pre-chemo days (last night we played for an hour and got one and a half games in). I’ve packed on an extra 25 lbs. since this whole adventure started, so this has GOT to be the first thing to go.
Number two… I had an MRI yesterday, and it came through looking like every other one I’ve had since the surgery. Clear with no sign of anything going on. This is fantastic news! I looked at the scans with my doctor, and if there weren’t a date visible on the scan you wouldn’t be able to tell one scan from another.
We are stretching out my visits now, so it won’t be such a regular thing anymore. I have also started making plans with dates out there a ways. I’ve lived my life in two-month increments for the past year and a half, so it feels terrific to be able to look ahead and see a little further down the road. I'm already beginning to view this whole experience as just a side trip with some valuable lessons included. Now I can get back on the main highway and enjoy the scenery again.
The last year and a half was tough on my Sue. She didn’t sign on to our journey together to have her mettle put to the test like this. However, she has stuck in there and been with me fighting this every step of the way. I’m sure there were a lot of times when the worry and stress were not easy to overcome, but she never let me see that side of her. She has always been one of the bravest and most resolute people I’ve known. Now it’s time for me to return some of that energy to her. I can never give her back all that she has given, but I’m sure as hell going to try.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Bend over and grab your wallet... update
I went to the Sams Club web site and placed my sentiments on a message to their Customer Service department.
Imagine my surprise when I received this message back from them a little while ago...
Dear Online Customer,
Thank you for your recent inquiry regarding your Sam's Club® account, and the opportunity to be of service to you.
In the interest of customer service and goodwill, we are crediting your account for late charges assessed in the amount of $20.00. This credit will appear on your next billing statement.
I guess it sometimes does pay to be a cranky old curmudgeon. Don't be afraid to speak up for what you think is right. Once in a while it does pay off.
Imagine my surprise when I received this message back from them a little while ago...
Dear Online Customer,
Thank you for your recent inquiry regarding your Sam's Club® account, and the opportunity to be of service to you.
In the interest of customer service and goodwill, we are crediting your account for late charges assessed in the amount of $20.00. This credit will appear on your next billing statement.
I guess it sometimes does pay to be a cranky old curmudgeon. Don't be afraid to speak up for what you think is right. Once in a while it does pay off.
Bend over and grab your wallet
I have Sams Club ID card (they are part of the Walmart group). I never used it for charges before, although I could have. Recently, I allowed my son to use it to charge his gas, and this has worked out fine. He paid the bill on time and there was never a problem.
The April billing cycle was $60.65. He paid it, but it was due on April 1, so by the time it was credited to the account (April 3), it was two days late. Not a big deal, so I expected to get hit with a finance charge for a couple days. Imagine my surprise when the next bill came with a late charge of $20. I couldn't believe it. $20 for being two days late. Now they can charge whatever they want, but this amounts to a 33% penalty fee (or basically $10 a day). Outrageous wouldn't you say?
I called them to discuss the issue, but of course I got some customer service girl, who couldn't do anything except say she wasn't authorized to make adjustments. Whoopee! I told her I would pay the fee, but this would be the last time I ever use their card for charges again. She gave me the impression like she could care less.
I find it incredible that they can assess fees to their customers as they please, and then put up barriers for disputing the charges such that all you can do is just give up and pay the fee, because fighting anything like this is a major time expense, and probably resulting in no resolution, because you can never reach anyone that can actually do anything.
I have never liked Walmart, so I'll still avoid the place, but now I find that Sams Club has joined the list of businesses that takes advantage of the small print (which is nebulous on the back of their statements on their fees and charges) and has perpetuated the definition of "Customer Service" as an oxymoron. Aargghhh!
The April billing cycle was $60.65. He paid it, but it was due on April 1, so by the time it was credited to the account (April 3), it was two days late. Not a big deal, so I expected to get hit with a finance charge for a couple days. Imagine my surprise when the next bill came with a late charge of $20. I couldn't believe it. $20 for being two days late. Now they can charge whatever they want, but this amounts to a 33% penalty fee (or basically $10 a day). Outrageous wouldn't you say?
I called them to discuss the issue, but of course I got some customer service girl, who couldn't do anything except say she wasn't authorized to make adjustments. Whoopee! I told her I would pay the fee, but this would be the last time I ever use their card for charges again. She gave me the impression like she could care less.
I find it incredible that they can assess fees to their customers as they please, and then put up barriers for disputing the charges such that all you can do is just give up and pay the fee, because fighting anything like this is a major time expense, and probably resulting in no resolution, because you can never reach anyone that can actually do anything.
I have never liked Walmart, so I'll still avoid the place, but now I find that Sams Club has joined the list of businesses that takes advantage of the small print (which is nebulous on the back of their statements on their fees and charges) and has perpetuated the definition of "Customer Service" as an oxymoron. Aargghhh!
Friday, April 27, 2007
The Last Picture Show
Well, if you can't tell, let me say that I'm pretty excited. April 30 is when I begin my last 5 day chemo treatment, and I couldn't be more pleased. It's been 13 months since this whole GBM thing entered my life, and I'm glad to see this chapter pass into history. It'll be another month before I begin to see the effects of the chemo finally leave, and I'll know what it feels to be normal again. I've been working out, bike riding, and playing racquetball, but I always seem to be doing it at some reduced level. I hope I can finally get back to the business of pushing my limits the way I did before this all started. I still have some weight to lose and redistribute, and once I do, maybe some other things will fall into place. I'm anxious to get back to the business of being just plain old me. Let's get to it. I'm ready!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Pandora's box
I’m in shock by what I have been reading lately about the latest shootings going on in this country. It’s really no surprise that we continue to allow this to happen, but it’s horribly tragic nonetheless. What’s the most lamentable about this situation is that we bring it on ourselves by doing nothing substantial to control it. This troubles me greatly.
Every time something like this happens, it only accentuates a problem that we have created and are in denial about. It may not be as hyped by the media, depending on the news worthy value, but it happens to some degree every day in nearly every city in this country, large or small. Drive by shootings, murders, robberies, and assorted accidental deaths all seem to involve a gun type of weapon with unbelievable regularity.
Our illustrious politicians, for all their rhetoric and expressions of commendation and desire to do something, really end up doing nothing except doing whatever they need to do to assure their own survival as a politician. They are held hostage by one of the largest and well-organized lobbies in the USA. I’m talking about the NRA. I believe the NRA serves a good purpose, but its lobbyists do not. They regularly find ways to block important and necessary legislation, that our (seemingly) spineless politicians will not push through, for fear of upsetting the NRA, or creating a row with their NRA loving constituents.
The common sentiment is something like, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” They are correct in this simple statement, but solving the solving the problem of needless deaths is going to require a complicated and radical solution.
I view a simple mathematical formula to state the situation like this:
Hu + Gn + Lc + X = Dt
Hu = a person
Gn = a gun
Lc = Legislation and control
X(y) = the unknown factor (I‘ll explain in a moment)
Dt = dead things (other humans, animals, etc.)
The math is really simple when you think about it. To control one side of the equation, you must balance out the equation by modifying the other side. To have fewer dead things, you must reduce something on the other side of the equation. As the population increases (Hu), doing nothing to other factors increases Dt.
The X(y) element included above are things we have no control over. Education, love of the sport, responsibility for our own actions, complying with existing laws, racial bigotry, religious radicalism, mental stability, narcissist ideals, criminal predilection, are just a sample of the unpredictable factors. Try as we might, we will never get a handle on these. "Need" does not calculate. With everything else in proper stability, need should not be a factor. That’s why we have law enforcement (however, see factors of X(y) for extenuating factors).
I am not against the ownership of guns. I have owned several. I also feel that guns for hunting for food is one thing. Gun ownership for any other reason is a questionable activity for anyone other than sport or the historical collector. Handguns are only made for one purpose, period.
The 2nd amendment was created at a time in this country’s history when we needed it. It doesn’t carry the same meaning as it did when it was first written, and is subject to every interpretation possible that will justify any given purpose. It’s a Pandora’s box we can never close again.
I’m no more a fan of increased legislation than I am of the NRA lobbyists, but politicians will have to grow some and create a workable and sustainable foundation to enable us to live free of the existing situation, but allow each of us to keep our individual freedoms.
Every time something like this happens, it only accentuates a problem that we have created and are in denial about. It may not be as hyped by the media, depending on the news worthy value, but it happens to some degree every day in nearly every city in this country, large or small. Drive by shootings, murders, robberies, and assorted accidental deaths all seem to involve a gun type of weapon with unbelievable regularity.
Our illustrious politicians, for all their rhetoric and expressions of commendation and desire to do something, really end up doing nothing except doing whatever they need to do to assure their own survival as a politician. They are held hostage by one of the largest and well-organized lobbies in the USA. I’m talking about the NRA. I believe the NRA serves a good purpose, but its lobbyists do not. They regularly find ways to block important and necessary legislation, that our (seemingly) spineless politicians will not push through, for fear of upsetting the NRA, or creating a row with their NRA loving constituents.
The common sentiment is something like, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” They are correct in this simple statement, but solving the solving the problem of needless deaths is going to require a complicated and radical solution.
I view a simple mathematical formula to state the situation like this:
Hu + Gn + Lc + X = Dt
Hu = a person
Gn = a gun
Lc = Legislation and control
X(y) = the unknown factor (I‘ll explain in a moment)
Dt = dead things (other humans, animals, etc.)
The math is really simple when you think about it. To control one side of the equation, you must balance out the equation by modifying the other side. To have fewer dead things, you must reduce something on the other side of the equation. As the population increases (Hu), doing nothing to other factors increases Dt.
The X(y) element included above are things we have no control over. Education, love of the sport, responsibility for our own actions, complying with existing laws, racial bigotry, religious radicalism, mental stability, narcissist ideals, criminal predilection, are just a sample of the unpredictable factors. Try as we might, we will never get a handle on these. "Need" does not calculate. With everything else in proper stability, need should not be a factor. That’s why we have law enforcement (however, see factors of X(y) for extenuating factors).
I am not against the ownership of guns. I have owned several. I also feel that guns for hunting for food is one thing. Gun ownership for any other reason is a questionable activity for anyone other than sport or the historical collector. Handguns are only made for one purpose, period.
The 2nd amendment was created at a time in this country’s history when we needed it. It doesn’t carry the same meaning as it did when it was first written, and is subject to every interpretation possible that will justify any given purpose. It’s a Pandora’s box we can never close again.
I’m no more a fan of increased legislation than I am of the NRA lobbyists, but politicians will have to grow some and create a workable and sustainable foundation to enable us to live free of the existing situation, but allow each of us to keep our individual freedoms.
Friday, April 13, 2007
I need a new plan... or two!
It's been almost three weeks since my last notes. Dispiriting. I actually haven't been that busy, but time certainly gets away from you when you have lots of little things happening in a short time. Just like everyone else, you pack in as much as possible during the day, and when it's time to hit the sack, you feel like you didn't make a dent in anything. On the contrary, you feel like you are more behind now than when you first woke up that day. We each have our daily delemmas to deal with, so I don't even feel unique with mine.
Block out the best part during the week for the ever present work-a-day type job, and there isn't much time left in the evening to make up for what there is left to do. Sue and I are working hard at making out greenhouse prosper and produce something worthwhile one of these days. We give it some daily attention to make sure it's still doing it's thing and not getting anything it shouldn't. Sue is also growing lots of flowers in both the front and back yard, so we also was to monitor these. Then it's onto dinner, dishes, blah, blah, blah.
Three nights are also relegated to working out with my son, Aaron. Twice a week, it's bowflex time after he gets off work. The other evening is reserved for racquetball; an evening I know we both look forward to. It doesn't matter what kind of day either of us has had, two minutes after we start playing, it's all cancelled out by the need to stay focused on the game and not let the other clean your clock on the court. It's the most physical either of us gets during the week, and we both love it.
In spite of this, I don't seem to be making any progress in my quest to get back to my old physical condition. I definitly need a new plan for this. I put out a few inquiries on the Men's Health, but disappointingly, those inquiries have provided zero help. Men's Health seems to be focused primarily on arketing to those younger than myself, and efforts to solicit real help has only produced a few personal opinions, and nothing more. For someone sincere in their search for help, this is not the place to go. The thing that annoys me the most these days is anything that wastes my personal time.
Regardless, I still want to lose the gained excess, regain my lost conditioning, and even strengthen myself better than before. I know it's possible. The will is there, I just need a plan I can work at and stick with. I have a piece of Windows software I'm adapting to my Mac. I hope this provides some additional insight.
I just finished my 11th series of chemo, with one left to go, so I know I'm still a couple months away from feeling normal. But I'm not going to wait. I've waited long enough. Sue and I got ourselves a tandem bike and will start using this as much as time allows. I also have been trying to working a little jogging into my schedule, but trying to fit more stuff into the week isn't easy. I just need to get busy.
Block out the best part during the week for the ever present work-a-day type job, and there isn't much time left in the evening to make up for what there is left to do. Sue and I are working hard at making out greenhouse prosper and produce something worthwhile one of these days. We give it some daily attention to make sure it's still doing it's thing and not getting anything it shouldn't. Sue is also growing lots of flowers in both the front and back yard, so we also was to monitor these. Then it's onto dinner, dishes, blah, blah, blah.
Three nights are also relegated to working out with my son, Aaron. Twice a week, it's bowflex time after he gets off work. The other evening is reserved for racquetball; an evening I know we both look forward to. It doesn't matter what kind of day either of us has had, two minutes after we start playing, it's all cancelled out by the need to stay focused on the game and not let the other clean your clock on the court. It's the most physical either of us gets during the week, and we both love it.
In spite of this, I don't seem to be making any progress in my quest to get back to my old physical condition. I definitly need a new plan for this. I put out a few inquiries on the Men's Health, but disappointingly, those inquiries have provided zero help. Men's Health seems to be focused primarily on arketing to those younger than myself, and efforts to solicit real help has only produced a few personal opinions, and nothing more. For someone sincere in their search for help, this is not the place to go. The thing that annoys me the most these days is anything that wastes my personal time.
Regardless, I still want to lose the gained excess, regain my lost conditioning, and even strengthen myself better than before. I know it's possible. The will is there, I just need a plan I can work at and stick with. I have a piece of Windows software I'm adapting to my Mac. I hope this provides some additional insight.
I just finished my 11th series of chemo, with one left to go, so I know I'm still a couple months away from feeling normal. But I'm not going to wait. I've waited long enough. Sue and I got ourselves a tandem bike and will start using this as much as time allows. I also have been trying to working a little jogging into my schedule, but trying to fit more stuff into the week isn't easy. I just need to get busy.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Of gardening and carburetors
Over the weekend, I went to an optical shop to get new lenses for my glasses. The cute girl behind the counter told us that my prescription was nearly expired, and so I found myself explaining once again that I had had a bad year last year, and I wanted to make sure I was going to be around a bit longer, before I went to the trouble to refill my prescription. After a short interaction about what had taken place, we moved on and completed the transaction.
It occurred to me afterward that because a year had passed, and I was not only still above ground, but thriving and improving as well,and finding it less and less necessary to explain my reasons for postponing certain actions, and the reasons for why I was doing so.
It’s not that I have forgotten what transpired, or felt that it was unimportant. On the contrary, I still feel it every day. I still have chemo drugs in my system and will continue to do so for at least a few more months, and I can still feel the scar where the doctor cut open my skull (the nerves have not repaired themselves yet, so it is still somewhat numb). I just find that I am trying to move past that episode in my life, and not make justification for my lack of doing certain things. I look plenty normal, and from my level of activity, no one would normally notice what I still feel inside. I mask it fairly well, and only those closest to me can tell when I’m having an off time. Sometimes not even then.
I’m finding it easier now to look forward, and plan for more than just a month ahead. I am still making careful decisions about the future, but am doing so with a bit more far-sightedness than I did even a few months ago. I’d like to see this continue. I have some milestones coming up, and would like to see them come and go with as little impact on my life as possible. There is plenty to do, and I have years of marriage and (hopefully!)grandkids to look forward to. There is a long list of places left to visit, and unfinished projects to complete, so the less I have to think and talk about my previous GBM, the better. I’d much rather talk about gardening or carburetors any day.
It occurred to me afterward that because a year had passed, and I was not only still above ground, but thriving and improving as well,and finding it less and less necessary to explain my reasons for postponing certain actions, and the reasons for why I was doing so.
It’s not that I have forgotten what transpired, or felt that it was unimportant. On the contrary, I still feel it every day. I still have chemo drugs in my system and will continue to do so for at least a few more months, and I can still feel the scar where the doctor cut open my skull (the nerves have not repaired themselves yet, so it is still somewhat numb). I just find that I am trying to move past that episode in my life, and not make justification for my lack of doing certain things. I look plenty normal, and from my level of activity, no one would normally notice what I still feel inside. I mask it fairly well, and only those closest to me can tell when I’m having an off time. Sometimes not even then.
I’m finding it easier now to look forward, and plan for more than just a month ahead. I am still making careful decisions about the future, but am doing so with a bit more far-sightedness than I did even a few months ago. I’d like to see this continue. I have some milestones coming up, and would like to see them come and go with as little impact on my life as possible. There is plenty to do, and I have years of marriage and (hopefully!)grandkids to look forward to. There is a long list of places left to visit, and unfinished projects to complete, so the less I have to think and talk about my previous GBM, the better. I’d much rather talk about gardening or carburetors any day.
Friday, March 23, 2007
A time for change
Yesterday was an anniversary of sorts. One year ago, on March 22, I was rushed into surgery to remove the Grade IV GBM, residing in the back of my brain. It hardly seems like it was a year ago. So much has happened since then. Aside from the follow-up treatments, which have sucked a fair portion of my energy away for the past year, I feel great. I haven’t returned to my former self, but I’ve changed in mind and body since then, so I don’t know that my inner self wants to be the person that I was.
I’m working out again regularly and I like that a lot. I’m surprised that I’m as strong as I am, and can do pretty much what I want to. My only problem now is, where do I want to go from here? The simple fact that I’m older and (let’s face it) slower than I used to be has me reevaluating what my new interests should be. I gave up Shinkendo because I didn’t know how soon I might come back to it. Now that I’m at that crossroads, I don’t have the interest in retraining to regain my former expertise. I’ll be, for the most part, competing with kids 1/3 to ½ my age. And although I don’t feel like that might stop me, I will never come back up to the level that will make me a valued contributor. The sport has not sat idle while I have been out, so I have a lot of new material to learn, while honing the old stuff. That a pretty steep climb to make just to satisfy some sort of undefined inner goal.
Besides, I have so many other things I’ve yet to try, I feel like it’s time for me to take pride in what I accomplished and find a new challenge. There are plenty of unexplored opportunities still waiting, so I’d better get busy.
I finished building Sue’s greenhouse, and she already has plenty of plants poking up through the ground. I hope all the tomatoes, squash, peppers, spinach, strawberries, and herbs turn out as well as they are starting. I’m anxious to award her with a farmer’s merit badge. She seems so excited about her efforts so far. We have flowers growing everywhere as well.
This year (although it's having a rocky start) seems to be in substantial contrast to the one we just had. I hope it continues to brighten up and improve as it continues through spring. The Year of the Pig could be a good one for us.
I’m working out again regularly and I like that a lot. I’m surprised that I’m as strong as I am, and can do pretty much what I want to. My only problem now is, where do I want to go from here? The simple fact that I’m older and (let’s face it) slower than I used to be has me reevaluating what my new interests should be. I gave up Shinkendo because I didn’t know how soon I might come back to it. Now that I’m at that crossroads, I don’t have the interest in retraining to regain my former expertise. I’ll be, for the most part, competing with kids 1/3 to ½ my age. And although I don’t feel like that might stop me, I will never come back up to the level that will make me a valued contributor. The sport has not sat idle while I have been out, so I have a lot of new material to learn, while honing the old stuff. That a pretty steep climb to make just to satisfy some sort of undefined inner goal.
Besides, I have so many other things I’ve yet to try, I feel like it’s time for me to take pride in what I accomplished and find a new challenge. There are plenty of unexplored opportunities still waiting, so I’d better get busy.
I finished building Sue’s greenhouse, and she already has plenty of plants poking up through the ground. I hope all the tomatoes, squash, peppers, spinach, strawberries, and herbs turn out as well as they are starting. I’m anxious to award her with a farmer’s merit badge. She seems so excited about her efforts so far. We have flowers growing everywhere as well.
This year (although it's having a rocky start) seems to be in substantial contrast to the one we just had. I hope it continues to brighten up and improve as it continues through spring. The Year of the Pig could be a good one for us.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Ready? Forward --- March
Here we are at the beginning of March, and I have to tell you that I lost my bet with Sue. Although I gave it a good effort (not my best), I could not get my waist down to a 32. I could get into some of my pants that were 32s, but it was a painful experience. The bet was in good fun, but she'll have that to remind me of until we can find something else to bet on.
We worked on Sue's vegetable garden this weekend, and finished getting it ready for planting. We finished off the construction of it and by lunchtime on Sunday, she was already poking seeds and a few plants in the ground. It'll be interesting how things go. The spinach we had already planted is doing very well and producing leaves four times larger than any I've seen in the store. If the tomatoes do as well (I've never raised tomatoes), we'll have them coming out the wazoo in about six weeks. So far, so good.
I try not to listen to politics, but sometimes it's almost impossible. It's in our faces every day, and no matter how hard we try to avoid it... there it is. So I'm going to have my brief say and from there, forget about it.
I have not been pleased with whe Iraq war and the deceitfulness that seems to be part of the normal mode of operation of giving us the facts as the government sees them. They point so many fingers back and forth, that you can 't even keep score anymore. John Kyle and John McCain were steadfast republican supporters of Bush and his war. McCain even said that we needed to send more troops than even Bush wanted to send. Kyle has basically disappeared from the landscape after the election. I supose he's in an undisclosed location keeping his head down.
I wrote letters to Kyle and McCain teling them that if they were going to continue to support Bush, I could no longer support them. A few days later, I heard reports that McCain was losing popularity, so I guess I wasn't the only one. A lot of Bush supporters like him are going to have to do a lot of backpeddeling and distancing, if they are to keep their own image in the popular view. However, I meant what I said about McCain. As far as I'm concerned, his run for the White House is just exercise.
Did you ever notice that before the last election, there was hardly ever the mention of the word "bipartisan"? Now that Bush is set back on his heels, it bipartisan this, and bipartisan that. I'll be glad when he's out of the media focal point and I don't have to look at his smug face anymore. He's giving self-righteous people a bad name.
I start session 10 of my chemo treatment on Monday. Two more to go after that. Wahoo! I've been doing that stuff for so long, I've forgotten what it feels like to be normal. The working out has helped. I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was and I'm making progress improvements as I dive into the next change in my program. I'm surprised to find that the best I feel all day is when I'm working out and pushing my body to its limits. The worst I feel all day is when I'm sitting on my can. I do believe there's a message there somewhere. This is especially true as the weather gets nicer everyday, and being outside feels so good. Sitting on my patio and using my wireless connection somehow feels so right.
We worked on Sue's vegetable garden this weekend, and finished getting it ready for planting. We finished off the construction of it and by lunchtime on Sunday, she was already poking seeds and a few plants in the ground. It'll be interesting how things go. The spinach we had already planted is doing very well and producing leaves four times larger than any I've seen in the store. If the tomatoes do as well (I've never raised tomatoes), we'll have them coming out the wazoo in about six weeks. So far, so good.
I try not to listen to politics, but sometimes it's almost impossible. It's in our faces every day, and no matter how hard we try to avoid it... there it is. So I'm going to have my brief say and from there, forget about it.
I have not been pleased with whe Iraq war and the deceitfulness that seems to be part of the normal mode of operation of giving us the facts as the government sees them. They point so many fingers back and forth, that you can 't even keep score anymore. John Kyle and John McCain were steadfast republican supporters of Bush and his war. McCain even said that we needed to send more troops than even Bush wanted to send. Kyle has basically disappeared from the landscape after the election. I supose he's in an undisclosed location keeping his head down.
I wrote letters to Kyle and McCain teling them that if they were going to continue to support Bush, I could no longer support them. A few days later, I heard reports that McCain was losing popularity, so I guess I wasn't the only one. A lot of Bush supporters like him are going to have to do a lot of backpeddeling and distancing, if they are to keep their own image in the popular view. However, I meant what I said about McCain. As far as I'm concerned, his run for the White House is just exercise.
Did you ever notice that before the last election, there was hardly ever the mention of the word "bipartisan"? Now that Bush is set back on his heels, it bipartisan this, and bipartisan that. I'll be glad when he's out of the media focal point and I don't have to look at his smug face anymore. He's giving self-righteous people a bad name.
I start session 10 of my chemo treatment on Monday. Two more to go after that. Wahoo! I've been doing that stuff for so long, I've forgotten what it feels like to be normal. The working out has helped. I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was and I'm making progress improvements as I dive into the next change in my program. I'm surprised to find that the best I feel all day is when I'm working out and pushing my body to its limits. The worst I feel all day is when I'm sitting on my can. I do believe there's a message there somewhere. This is especially true as the weather gets nicer everyday, and being outside feels so good. Sitting on my patio and using my wireless connection somehow feels so right.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Tax procrastination
I REALLY need to get going on my taxes, but this is a whole easier, so that job will have to wait just a little longer.
Aaron and I have been working out for about three or four weeks now, and I think we are beginning to see some improvement. Our strength has improved and I feel better than I have in a long time. We also play racquetball once a week. He continues to outscore me, but it takes him a half hour to do it. The gap in our scores is also closing. I do get tired and so we only play for an hour now. This is a great time for Aaron and I to spend together. We talk a little, but mostly just spend our time together doing something we like. He's really busy these days, so I treasure the limited time we have together.
I going to try introducing a little running into my routine on the days when I don't lift weights or ride the bike. My waist isn't changing much, so I'm going to ratchet up my workouts up a little to see if it helps.
Last weekend, I built a (sort of) greenhouse for Sue. It started out as an engineering project to see if I could create one, and turned out to be pretty neat. It's not especially large, but will give her some dedicated space to grow vegetables and stuff. It's partially self-watering also, so it won't take as much effort to keep going. We'll see how this pans out.
The big deal this week happened when I went to see the dentist. Since the surgery last year, I've noticed an acceleration in my teeth showing signs of wear. My dentist took a look and said that people who have had radiation treatments like I have, often have the same sort of things happening to their teeth. Deterioration increases, along with the added propensity for cavities. It doesn't help that I grind my teeth in my sleep like a millstone.
The good news is that he can fix it.
The bad news is the amount of damage requires some extensive work. This also means extensive charges, to the tune of about $9000 or so. Yikes!! I suspected it was going to cost, but I never imagined that sort of amount. He itemized it all out, and it all makes sense. It just doesn't make it any easier to swallow. Who has that sort of money for this sort of thing anyway? Maybe if your're a celebrity with lots of cash this wouldn't be a big deal, but an average joe like me, it's huge, huge bucks.
I guess I won't start building my new hot rod for quite a while. That gardening thing might turn out to be a something I can do in the mean time. Maybe I'll learn how not to murder the plants before they produce something good.
Aaron and I have been working out for about three or four weeks now, and I think we are beginning to see some improvement. Our strength has improved and I feel better than I have in a long time. We also play racquetball once a week. He continues to outscore me, but it takes him a half hour to do it. The gap in our scores is also closing. I do get tired and so we only play for an hour now. This is a great time for Aaron and I to spend together. We talk a little, but mostly just spend our time together doing something we like. He's really busy these days, so I treasure the limited time we have together.
I going to try introducing a little running into my routine on the days when I don't lift weights or ride the bike. My waist isn't changing much, so I'm going to ratchet up my workouts up a little to see if it helps.
Last weekend, I built a (sort of) greenhouse for Sue. It started out as an engineering project to see if I could create one, and turned out to be pretty neat. It's not especially large, but will give her some dedicated space to grow vegetables and stuff. It's partially self-watering also, so it won't take as much effort to keep going. We'll see how this pans out.
The big deal this week happened when I went to see the dentist. Since the surgery last year, I've noticed an acceleration in my teeth showing signs of wear. My dentist took a look and said that people who have had radiation treatments like I have, often have the same sort of things happening to their teeth. Deterioration increases, along with the added propensity for cavities. It doesn't help that I grind my teeth in my sleep like a millstone.
The good news is that he can fix it.
The bad news is the amount of damage requires some extensive work. This also means extensive charges, to the tune of about $9000 or so. Yikes!! I suspected it was going to cost, but I never imagined that sort of amount. He itemized it all out, and it all makes sense. It just doesn't make it any easier to swallow. Who has that sort of money for this sort of thing anyway? Maybe if your're a celebrity with lots of cash this wouldn't be a big deal, but an average joe like me, it's huge, huge bucks.
I guess I won't start building my new hot rod for quite a while. That gardening thing might turn out to be a something I can do in the mean time. Maybe I'll learn how not to murder the plants before they produce something good.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Ten Month Hiatus
From the begining of my brain tumor problems, I have laid off doing any kind of real physical working out. The result was not pretty. I've gained at least two inches to my middle and about 30 pounds. This was not only disappointing, but unhealthy as well. Although I've been wanting to get on some sort of program again, the chemo and the fatigue from it seemed to put my drive in "Park". But I've decided that I had had enough when my pant were beginning to get tight again... not to mention my profile in the mirror was looking less and less appealing.
I bought a Bowflex and a recumbent bike and decided that I was going to put a stop to my increasing diameter and limited energy level. Aaron, my youngest son felt the same way. He had backed off from his past activity, and for different reasons was feeling too big for his britches.
We have been working out regularly for just two weeks, and I have to say that for myself, I am already feeling the difference. My weight hasn't begun to drop yet, but my physical abilities on the machines has improved considerably. The best I feel all day is when I am working out. I already am feeling an increase in my energy level, albeit small, but I can tell it is having its positive effects. We have also begun playing racquetball once a week for an hour. We aren't back to our pre-tumor form, but the games are still way more lively that I ever expected.
I am just about to begin a new chemo cycle, so I don't know how all this will effect my performance, but I can already see that I won't be slumping back to my old level. I hope as I get stronger, my lack of energy will begin to fade and I can feel more like my prior self.
I bet my wife, Sue, $500 dollars I could be at a 32 inch waist by March 1. We never exchange the cash on our bets, but the pressure to live up to my bet is there all the same. Let's hope I didn't get in over my head this time.
I bought a Bowflex and a recumbent bike and decided that I was going to put a stop to my increasing diameter and limited energy level. Aaron, my youngest son felt the same way. He had backed off from his past activity, and for different reasons was feeling too big for his britches.
We have been working out regularly for just two weeks, and I have to say that for myself, I am already feeling the difference. My weight hasn't begun to drop yet, but my physical abilities on the machines has improved considerably. The best I feel all day is when I am working out. I already am feeling an increase in my energy level, albeit small, but I can tell it is having its positive effects. We have also begun playing racquetball once a week for an hour. We aren't back to our pre-tumor form, but the games are still way more lively that I ever expected.
I am just about to begin a new chemo cycle, so I don't know how all this will effect my performance, but I can already see that I won't be slumping back to my old level. I hope as I get stronger, my lack of energy will begin to fade and I can feel more like my prior self.
I bet my wife, Sue, $500 dollars I could be at a 32 inch waist by March 1. We never exchange the cash on our bets, but the pressure to live up to my bet is there all the same. Let's hope I didn't get in over my head this time.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Dimwit drivers beware
Recently I found a few sites that you may find of interest.
http://www.driversrevenge.com/
http://www.idiotdriveralert.com/
http://www.safedrivinginstitute.com/index2.html
We've all experienced bad drivers almost every day. People using their cell phones or pdas while driving, putting on make-up, eating, changing clothes, or just being a blockhead on the highway. I only drive a short distance to work everyday, but I see a never ending supply of bad drivers. I guess they feel that rules of the road are for everyone else. There are plenty of examples of really bad drivers on these sites, so I won't repeat them here. Check them out for yourself.
If you're tired of just putting up with all the idiot drivers out there, here is your chance to let your feelings be known. Record the pertinent information, then go to to one of these sites to voice your ire. If nothing else, you can let off a little steam. Maybe some real good will eventually come of this.
http://www.driversrevenge.com/
http://www.idiotdriveralert.com/
http://www.safedrivinginstitute.com/index2.html
We've all experienced bad drivers almost every day. People using their cell phones or pdas while driving, putting on make-up, eating, changing clothes, or just being a blockhead on the highway. I only drive a short distance to work everyday, but I see a never ending supply of bad drivers. I guess they feel that rules of the road are for everyone else. There are plenty of examples of really bad drivers on these sites, so I won't repeat them here. Check them out for yourself.
If you're tired of just putting up with all the idiot drivers out there, here is your chance to let your feelings be known. Record the pertinent information, then go to to one of these sites to voice your ire. If nothing else, you can let off a little steam. Maybe some real good will eventually come of this.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Warning! Rant Approaching: The new normal
I've been bugged by this for a long time, but this is the first time I've said something that probably bugs others as well.
Why has dishonesty become the norm? We see it and hear it every day... from politicians, diplomats, movie and TV stars, criminals, officials that are paid to serve us, etc. When asked a direct question, even when the smoking gun is obvious, their answer always seems to be that they didn't do it. "I did not have sex with that woman", "I didn't say that. It never happened", the plea is always "Not Guilty", or their memory no longer clear. When asked a direct question and their back is tightly against the wall, the facts suddenly seem foggy and unreliable. Their publicist tells the media that she was just going for a burger. It was the band's fault, not mine. It was a costume malfunction. I didn't know the stunt was dangerous. The files were inadvertently destroyed. Make a long winded statement and dance around the question, when all we really want is a simple Yes or No.
Is it me, or has personal integrity, moral principals, and responsibility become just a thing of our honored past and replaced with hypomnesia. I would have a hard time directly lying to someone I knew, let alone an entire country or group of admirers. However the people we most look up to do this to us every day. Deniability is practically cliche'.
Have we become such a jaded society that we have come to expect bullshit expanations instead of the simple truth?... Even under oath?... I hope not, but these days I'm not sure what the actual truth of any matter really is. Who can you really trust? If anyone knows, please tell me.
Why has dishonesty become the norm? We see it and hear it every day... from politicians, diplomats, movie and TV stars, criminals, officials that are paid to serve us, etc. When asked a direct question, even when the smoking gun is obvious, their answer always seems to be that they didn't do it. "I did not have sex with that woman", "I didn't say that. It never happened", the plea is always "Not Guilty", or their memory no longer clear. When asked a direct question and their back is tightly against the wall, the facts suddenly seem foggy and unreliable. Their publicist tells the media that she was just going for a burger. It was the band's fault, not mine. It was a costume malfunction. I didn't know the stunt was dangerous. The files were inadvertently destroyed. Make a long winded statement and dance around the question, when all we really want is a simple Yes or No.
Is it me, or has personal integrity, moral principals, and responsibility become just a thing of our honored past and replaced with hypomnesia. I would have a hard time directly lying to someone I knew, let alone an entire country or group of admirers. However the people we most look up to do this to us every day. Deniability is practically cliche'.
Have we become such a jaded society that we have come to expect bullshit expanations instead of the simple truth?... Even under oath?... I hope not, but these days I'm not sure what the actual truth of any matter really is. Who can you really trust? If anyone knows, please tell me.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Spare tire
For the most part I've always been in pretty good shape. I've never had six-pack abs or bulging biceps, but I do OK. For the last ten months or so, I've found myself laying back... mostly because the chemo leaves me fatigued a lot of the time, but also because it's easier than fighting it. As a result, I've put on weight that I am not pleased with. I've lost a LOT of my muscle mass and I tire that much easier.
Well that's going to change, starting now. I've turned half the garage into a quasi-gym, and am putting in the things that will help me get back some of the muscle and drop some of the non-value added bulk I've put on. My most recent addition is a recumbent bike. I've always liked these and I find that with some good ole rock and roll playing, I can go for quite a while.
The Bowflex is for the strengthening thing, and I hope to get back some of what I have lost. I know I have to start out slow, but my main interest, is recovering my recovery rate. With a gym in my garage, I should be able to be a little more dilligent about it, but also I need to lay off the sweets, which have become a valued comfort food during my chemo treatments. My taste buds have suffered some, and this is one of the few foods that makes me feel good... a little too good I suppose, so it's going to take some will power to keep walking past the kitchen and into the garage. Maybe I should buy a set of blinders. Let's see how it goes.
Well that's going to change, starting now. I've turned half the garage into a quasi-gym, and am putting in the things that will help me get back some of the muscle and drop some of the non-value added bulk I've put on. My most recent addition is a recumbent bike. I've always liked these and I find that with some good ole rock and roll playing, I can go for quite a while.
The Bowflex is for the strengthening thing, and I hope to get back some of what I have lost. I know I have to start out slow, but my main interest, is recovering my recovery rate. With a gym in my garage, I should be able to be a little more dilligent about it, but also I need to lay off the sweets, which have become a valued comfort food during my chemo treatments. My taste buds have suffered some, and this is one of the few foods that makes me feel good... a little too good I suppose, so it's going to take some will power to keep walking past the kitchen and into the garage. Maybe I should buy a set of blinders. Let's see how it goes.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Happy New Year
It's 2007 finally, and I'm as happy to see 2006 pass into memory as I can be. Some good things happened, but the year had to have been the worst one on record for me. What I plan to do now is focus on the coming one and don't dwell on what has already occurred. It's hard though. Having a brain tumor changes you in ways I never thought about.
I am one of the lucky ones though. Although I am destined to be in the chemo loop for a little while longer, for the most part I am unchanged. when I was in the hospital, I witnessed a number of people who were far worse off than me, with a significant uphill road ahead of them. I can't imagine what they had yet to experience, nor the dependence they will place upon their families during their recovery. And there were those whose tumor was not in a good place. Their time is limited, and there is little technology and medicine can do for them. We have learned much about the brain, but it seems like there is a lot more we don't know, and have made few real advances in the past twenty years. There is much to do.
This year I am setting my sights on getting back some semblance of myself as I was efore this all started. From nearly a year of low level activity, I have lost nearly half my muscle mass. This bothers me. I used to be in pretty good shape for me age, so I am anxious to get back some of what I've lost. Something tells me it's going to be a lot more of a challenge this time. I'm ready for the challenge, I just need to remember to pace myself and try to not do it all in one day.
Based on the Chinese Astrological chart, I am a metal tiger. I am passing out the negative three year cycle and into a positive one. This couldn't come at a better time, and I am looking forward to all that it may bring. My wife Sue keeps me laughing and admonishes me when necessary. I take this on the chin and use it as a reminder that I need to keep good thoughts in my head and a cheerfulness in my heart. I love this woman.
I am one of the lucky ones though. Although I am destined to be in the chemo loop for a little while longer, for the most part I am unchanged. when I was in the hospital, I witnessed a number of people who were far worse off than me, with a significant uphill road ahead of them. I can't imagine what they had yet to experience, nor the dependence they will place upon their families during their recovery. And there were those whose tumor was not in a good place. Their time is limited, and there is little technology and medicine can do for them. We have learned much about the brain, but it seems like there is a lot more we don't know, and have made few real advances in the past twenty years. There is much to do.
This year I am setting my sights on getting back some semblance of myself as I was efore this all started. From nearly a year of low level activity, I have lost nearly half my muscle mass. This bothers me. I used to be in pretty good shape for me age, so I am anxious to get back some of what I've lost. Something tells me it's going to be a lot more of a challenge this time. I'm ready for the challenge, I just need to remember to pace myself and try to not do it all in one day.
Based on the Chinese Astrological chart, I am a metal tiger. I am passing out the negative three year cycle and into a positive one. This couldn't come at a better time, and I am looking forward to all that it may bring. My wife Sue keeps me laughing and admonishes me when necessary. I take this on the chin and use it as a reminder that I need to keep good thoughts in my head and a cheerfulness in my heart. I love this woman.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
I'm not really lazy... Really!
I know it's been a while since I made a post. I didn't realize how long until I checked the date of my last one. Needless to say, I was a little embarrassed at my procrastination. The past several months have been a series of highs and lows because of the chemo and other outside influences, which were highlighted by the Toshiba drive in my laptop losing its lubrication, and therefore spinning at a speed less than appropriate to access my data. In other words, it essentially died.
It took a while to get the problem narrowed down to the fact that I had to send it somewhere to do a proper disk recovery not available locally, and it was going to be EXPENSIVE. Prices went as high as $2500 or so. After I regained consciousness I contacted a company in Florida called ECO Data Recovery. You can find them at http://www.ecodatarecovery.com. These guys are professional and fast. They have their own clean room facilities, and were able to disassemble the drive, and then do whatever was necessary to save my data onto an external drive I sent them, and then send it back to me. In the end, they recovered 100% of my volatile files, so I didn't lose anything from the experience. Their price for me was much less than anyone else I talked to, and they were understanding and sympathetic to my issues. If this is sounding like a plug for them, well I guess it is. I'd use them again in a heartbeat.
I've crossed over the six month of my five day chemo treatment and I'm feeling fairly good. My last MRI was clear with no lingering signs of the tumor. This is a terrific bit of news for me. I'm not saying I've beaten it yet, but as long as things stay the way they are now, I have a good chance of getting back to normal.
One of the first things I need to do is get back into shape. I weigh about 10 lbs more than I did 10 months ago, and because of my inactivity, I've lost about half my muscle mass. This bothers me a lot, because my profile in the mirror has really suffered. Before all of this tumor stuff I was in good shape. I went to the gym regularly and I taught martial arts twice a week. Because of my loss of muscle, I'm considerably less strong as I used to be. I can still do some things reasonably well, but I tire faster.
I need to come up with a plan to lose the spare tire and get my muscle strength returning. I'm a little concerned about jumping into a regimen and blowing myself out in the process. I've done this plenty of times when I was healthy, so I don't want to especially do it now. My diet isn't bad, I just don't seem to be able to lose any weight, which won't happen until my activity level increases. I sort of have a plan, but if I had a better idea of how to proceed, it would keep me on track. My willpower seems to have suffered during the last 10 months, so getting back in the saddle is all the more difficult. If I could afford a trainer to work with me, that would be the best way, but since I can't, I'm going to have to depend on my own fortitude to get things back to some semblance of the way I was.
This isn't a New Years' resolution, but it should be.
I still have more to add, but right now I need to pull the Christmas lights off the house.
Stay tuned, I promise to be back soon.
It took a while to get the problem narrowed down to the fact that I had to send it somewhere to do a proper disk recovery not available locally, and it was going to be EXPENSIVE. Prices went as high as $2500 or so. After I regained consciousness I contacted a company in Florida called ECO Data Recovery. You can find them at http://www.ecodatarecovery.com. These guys are professional and fast. They have their own clean room facilities, and were able to disassemble the drive, and then do whatever was necessary to save my data onto an external drive I sent them, and then send it back to me. In the end, they recovered 100% of my volatile files, so I didn't lose anything from the experience. Their price for me was much less than anyone else I talked to, and they were understanding and sympathetic to my issues. If this is sounding like a plug for them, well I guess it is. I'd use them again in a heartbeat.
I've crossed over the six month of my five day chemo treatment and I'm feeling fairly good. My last MRI was clear with no lingering signs of the tumor. This is a terrific bit of news for me. I'm not saying I've beaten it yet, but as long as things stay the way they are now, I have a good chance of getting back to normal.
One of the first things I need to do is get back into shape. I weigh about 10 lbs more than I did 10 months ago, and because of my inactivity, I've lost about half my muscle mass. This bothers me a lot, because my profile in the mirror has really suffered. Before all of this tumor stuff I was in good shape. I went to the gym regularly and I taught martial arts twice a week. Because of my loss of muscle, I'm considerably less strong as I used to be. I can still do some things reasonably well, but I tire faster.
I need to come up with a plan to lose the spare tire and get my muscle strength returning. I'm a little concerned about jumping into a regimen and blowing myself out in the process. I've done this plenty of times when I was healthy, so I don't want to especially do it now. My diet isn't bad, I just don't seem to be able to lose any weight, which won't happen until my activity level increases. I sort of have a plan, but if I had a better idea of how to proceed, it would keep me on track. My willpower seems to have suffered during the last 10 months, so getting back in the saddle is all the more difficult. If I could afford a trainer to work with me, that would be the best way, but since I can't, I'm going to have to depend on my own fortitude to get things back to some semblance of the way I was.
This isn't a New Years' resolution, but it should be.
I still have more to add, but right now I need to pull the Christmas lights off the house.
Stay tuned, I promise to be back soon.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Long hot Summer
Well, here we are in mid-August and I'm 30% through my new chemo regimen. So far it hasn't been too bad, but I find that the fatigue is still hanging in there. I just pace myself and the days seem to glide by. Work doesn't seem to be affected, but there are times when I get a little sleepy in the afternoon, but I'm more inclined to think it's because of lunch, rather than anything else.
I have another MRI coming up in a little more than a week, so things should come more into focus for the longer term with that. I can't help but be a little tentative though. Those scans tend to be milestones, and I feel a little a little anxious as it approaches. I've become somewhat hypersensitive to what's going on inside my body now. You tend to analyze every little ache, or twinge, or soreness, and relate it back... especially when it's in the head region. Some of it is just stress I suppose.
I stopped reading about this, because there is nothing good or encouraging written. Everything has this gloom and doom approach. I don't need that. I want to keep positive, and I can't do that when most that is written has a negative spin.
I'm busier now, and I'm trying (in my own way) to work at projects that have been hanging around. I'm even getting them done... although not at warp speed.
I have another MRI coming up in a little more than a week, so things should come more into focus for the longer term with that. I can't help but be a little tentative though. Those scans tend to be milestones, and I feel a little a little anxious as it approaches. I've become somewhat hypersensitive to what's going on inside my body now. You tend to analyze every little ache, or twinge, or soreness, and relate it back... especially when it's in the head region. Some of it is just stress I suppose.
I stopped reading about this, because there is nothing good or encouraging written. Everything has this gloom and doom approach. I don't need that. I want to keep positive, and I can't do that when most that is written has a negative spin.
I'm busier now, and I'm trying (in my own way) to work at projects that have been hanging around. I'm even getting them done... although not at warp speed.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Tumor update
It's been three weeks since my chemo and radiation sessions ended, and I think I'm beginning to feel closer to my old self again. I still have a little way to go to be ready to do my old gym routine, but if there's anything I've learned in working out over ther years, it 's that no matter what you did in your lay off time, it'll take a bit to recover the old form. we'll see how this goes.
Yesterday I had my new baseline MRI, and had a chat with both doctors. The whole thing was as positive experience as I could hope for. It went very well and the doctors were encouraged. I saw the MRI comparison and from what they can see (certainly MRI resolution has its limits) there is no visible trace of the tumor, except for the artifacts of the surgery. However that's not to say that there isn't something there. A tumor about the size of an eraser head has about 30000 cells in it, so a few virulent cells could be present and invisible to the scan. It's not a perfect world, but the future looks bright... at least for the short term and medium time frame we know of, but that is also a double edge sword. It was made plain to me that since we can't know whether it's ALL gone, there always a 90% probability that it will be back... in time (one year, three years, who knows?). I'm hoping for the 10% side of things and can say good bye to it for good.
I am unbelievably fortunate though. Because of the location, even though this tumor is as nasty as they get, there is still reasonably good options for future treatment, should it ever come to that. Nearly all people with this type of tumor are not so lucky and can potentially suffer adverse results of additional treatment. No one is happier about this than I am.
For the future, I still have six months of off and on five day a month chemo treatments to deal with at twice the dose I was getting. The chemo actually hasn't been much of a problem. I take an anti-nausea pill 30 minutes before, and then the chemo drugs about bed time. I wake up with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth, but that about the extent of it.
MRIs will come at increasingly longer intervals and as long as I keep showing no new growth, it bodes better for me as the months pass. The doctors made it clear that they are not done with me and will continue to act aggressively if the need should arise. Now it's just a matter of monitoring myself and being sensitive to my normal behavior. I can no longer take glitches in my physiology for granted, but as long as I feel right, everything else is just as right.
I'm not sure how to pull this all in to a big picture, but for the moment it's time to relax and celebrate the current victory.
Yesterday I had my new baseline MRI, and had a chat with both doctors. The whole thing was as positive experience as I could hope for. It went very well and the doctors were encouraged. I saw the MRI comparison and from what they can see (certainly MRI resolution has its limits) there is no visible trace of the tumor, except for the artifacts of the surgery. However that's not to say that there isn't something there. A tumor about the size of an eraser head has about 30000 cells in it, so a few virulent cells could be present and invisible to the scan. It's not a perfect world, but the future looks bright... at least for the short term and medium time frame we know of, but that is also a double edge sword. It was made plain to me that since we can't know whether it's ALL gone, there always a 90% probability that it will be back... in time (one year, three years, who knows?). I'm hoping for the 10% side of things and can say good bye to it for good.
I am unbelievably fortunate though. Because of the location, even though this tumor is as nasty as they get, there is still reasonably good options for future treatment, should it ever come to that. Nearly all people with this type of tumor are not so lucky and can potentially suffer adverse results of additional treatment. No one is happier about this than I am.
For the future, I still have six months of off and on five day a month chemo treatments to deal with at twice the dose I was getting. The chemo actually hasn't been much of a problem. I take an anti-nausea pill 30 minutes before, and then the chemo drugs about bed time. I wake up with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth, but that about the extent of it.
MRIs will come at increasingly longer intervals and as long as I keep showing no new growth, it bodes better for me as the months pass. The doctors made it clear that they are not done with me and will continue to act aggressively if the need should arise. Now it's just a matter of monitoring myself and being sensitive to my normal behavior. I can no longer take glitches in my physiology for granted, but as long as I feel right, everything else is just as right.
I'm not sure how to pull this all in to a big picture, but for the moment it's time to relax and celebrate the current victory.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Too much too soon
It's been a while since I posted here, and I know a few of my friends look here from time to time to see how I'm doing, so I thought I'd better write something new.
I went through six weeks of chemo and radiation therapy, finishing up a week ago. While it wasn't the worst thing to happen to me, it certainly put my constitution to the test. The chemo was taken at night just before I went to bed, and with the anti-nausea pill taken a half hour before, so the treatment wasn't bad. Over the six weeks I lost the desire for anything more to eat than I needed to keep me going, because I developed a bad taste in the back of my throat. It also constitpated me pretty bad, and took almost the six weeks to get that dialed in.
The drive to and from the radiation treatment was 50 miles a day, so that got to be a drag. But all in all, it was a long but uneventful six weeks. I'm glad it's over... sort of.
I've been free of the treatment for about a week now and I'm not snapping back like I expected. It's going to take a while, and I need to be patient with myself. I tend to push myself too hard and then I pay the price... like last weekend.
I put in a new slab and moved one wheelbarrow at a time of almost 2 yards of concrete from the truck to the slab during what turned out to be the hottest day of the year so far. By the time it was over, I had worked myself into a state of extreme heat exhaution, and spent the next two days laying low and drinking as much as I can to recover to a minimum level. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I know better, but obviously that didn't stop me from doing it anyway.
I need to take it easy for a while and let my body tell me when I'm ready to go to the next level again.
I went through six weeks of chemo and radiation therapy, finishing up a week ago. While it wasn't the worst thing to happen to me, it certainly put my constitution to the test. The chemo was taken at night just before I went to bed, and with the anti-nausea pill taken a half hour before, so the treatment wasn't bad. Over the six weeks I lost the desire for anything more to eat than I needed to keep me going, because I developed a bad taste in the back of my throat. It also constitpated me pretty bad, and took almost the six weeks to get that dialed in.
The drive to and from the radiation treatment was 50 miles a day, so that got to be a drag. But all in all, it was a long but uneventful six weeks. I'm glad it's over... sort of.
I've been free of the treatment for about a week now and I'm not snapping back like I expected. It's going to take a while, and I need to be patient with myself. I tend to push myself too hard and then I pay the price... like last weekend.
I put in a new slab and moved one wheelbarrow at a time of almost 2 yards of concrete from the truck to the slab during what turned out to be the hottest day of the year so far. By the time it was over, I had worked myself into a state of extreme heat exhaution, and spent the next two days laying low and drinking as much as I can to recover to a minimum level. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I know better, but obviously that didn't stop me from doing it anyway.
I need to take it easy for a while and let my body tell me when I'm ready to go to the next level again.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Yoga boy
Sue and I attended our first yoga class last night. It's offered for free at the gym we go to, so we figured, "why not?" We have been talking about this for a little while, so this was an opportunity to check it out. We step into an ongoing class and figured we could at least get a taste.
Let me tell you... this stuff is not for the unprepared. By the end of the class I was sweating as much as I do on a normal visit to the gym. Although we didn't work all that hard, the application of balance, stretching, flexibility, and muscle tension was a real workout. I enjoyed it a lot, and I can see that I have miles to go before I will feel comfortable with my abilities in this class.
Sue felt the same way, and even though she is getting is pretty good shape, she definitely felt about the same as I did after class.
I think I should have tried this about ten years ago.
Let me tell you... this stuff is not for the unprepared. By the end of the class I was sweating as much as I do on a normal visit to the gym. Although we didn't work all that hard, the application of balance, stretching, flexibility, and muscle tension was a real workout. I enjoyed it a lot, and I can see that I have miles to go before I will feel comfortable with my abilities in this class.
Sue felt the same way, and even though she is getting is pretty good shape, she definitely felt about the same as I did after class.
I think I should have tried this about ten years ago.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Glioblastoma Grade IV
I will be starting my therapy soon and it looks like I have quite a fight ahead of me. It parallels the old wagon train approach of putting the wagons in a circle to fight off the Indian attack. I don't know how well they succeeded in their method, but there is nothing more serious in my coming life.
I've done a significant amount of reading and research, and I can only hope that health technology makes a breakthrough fast. What I read does not look very promising. I have done what I can to prepare so far, and I am leaving no stone unturned in my quest to find some magic that'll turn this whole thing around, but short of the miracle of miracles, the long term prognosis is a dark fog.
This is what I learned so far:
The only therapy(ies) that could possibly cure primary brain tumors must:
1. Treat the whole brain
2. Cross the Blood:Brain barrier
3. Get to each and every tumor cell
4. Kill all cell types within the tumor
5. Spare the remaining normal brain.
There now remains the combination of therapies: follow up the initial volume reduction therapy with something else. The usual choices are radiotherapy or chemotherapy. In the best of circumstances, one could expect another 90-99% reduction in tumor cell number. Another 90-99.9 % cell reduction still leaves 1 million to 100 million cells.
The logical procedure now would be to hit the tumor again with yet something else, (usually radiation or chemotherapy) that might attack the remaining cell population.
If left without treating a third time, it is possible that the tumor could return to its original size in as few as 6 weeks, factoring in the numbers mentioned above.
This is not encouraging news, but Sue and I are committed to battle this thing with all the fight we have in us. Feel free to send any positive vibes our way. We're going to need them.
I've done a significant amount of reading and research, and I can only hope that health technology makes a breakthrough fast. What I read does not look very promising. I have done what I can to prepare so far, and I am leaving no stone unturned in my quest to find some magic that'll turn this whole thing around, but short of the miracle of miracles, the long term prognosis is a dark fog.
This is what I learned so far:
The only therapy(ies) that could possibly cure primary brain tumors must:
1. Treat the whole brain
2. Cross the Blood:Brain barrier
3. Get to each and every tumor cell
4. Kill all cell types within the tumor
5. Spare the remaining normal brain.
Using the Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM) as an example, the physician needs to consider the following factors:
GROWTH DYNAMICS (GBM)
Growth Fraction = 20 % (Only a percentage of the tumor is growing at any one time)
Cell Cycle Time = 2 - 5 Days (This is how long it takes a growing cell to reproduce)
Cell Loss = 80 - 90 % (A high percentage of cells spontaneously die off)
Doubling Time = Around 7 Days
Therefore, any therapy aimed at controlling the growth of this tumor must recognize the above dynamics. Therapy must catch the cells at the appropriate phase of the cell cycle (when they are sensitive to treatment), take into account tumor doubling time, and acknowlege that the growth fraction is relatively small.
There are other problems to take into account as well:
Many cells live in a low oxygen environment (hypoxic). These hypoxic cells are:
- * radio-resistant
- * often chemotherapy resistant
- * far from the blood supply
Standard Therapy
To date, the best treatment for the malignant astrocytoma and GBM is a combination of:- * Surgery (Gross total removal, i.e. 80 - 99 %)
- * Radiotherapy (5,000 - 6,000 Rads)
- * Chemotherapy (BCNU)
"Standard therapy" in this country has failed to alleviate, despite spawning 400-plus new, different protocols. This presents a mind-boggling problem for patients and their families, especially when ofttimes they don't even know what a brain tumor really is! Added to the confusion is the enormous proliferation of new technologies becoming available to treat these tumors: lasers, stereotactic computers, cryosurgery, thermal killing machines, ultrasound, radiosurgery, the Gamma Knife, the X-Knife, photoirradiation, blood:brain barrier disruption, boron neutron capture, etc.
Where do science and technology meet the logic of brain tumor biology? What is purely experimental? What is logically worth the effort? What are the numbers? Where does a therapist's enthusiasm for new technology or protocol end, and logical approach to these tumors begin? These are just some of the newer questions which arise during the first weeks after coming in contact with the problem of a malignant brain tumor.
A Guide to the Perplexed
Considering all of the above, the following is a suggested method for approaching the therapy of malignant primary brain tumors. Be logical.Imagine that a particular tumor weighs about 100 grams. Consider the following:
100 gm of tumor = 100 billion cells, approximately.
If a tumor size can double in volume in a matter of weeks, it would make sense to decrease the size of the mass of the tumor right away. Otherwise, a patient could not make it through a treatment course. Surgery is the way to radically reduce the volume of a tumor, removing anywhere from 80 to 99% of the tumor mass. Recent advances in surgical technologies have aided in the removal of brain tumor tissue with a newer, higher net percentage tumor reduction of 90-99%. These include computer assisted stereotactic surgery, laser instrumentation (carbon dioxide, argon, and Yag), ultrasonic aspiration, operative phototherapy, etc.
Consider the following:
- 90% removal of tumor (100,000,000,000 cells), leaves 10 billion cells
- 99% removal of tumor (100,000,000,000 cells), leaves 1 billion cells
There now remains the combination of therapies: follow up the initial volume reduction therapy with something else. The usual choices are radiotherapy or chemotherapy. In the best of circumstances, one could expect another 90-99% reduction in tumor cell number. Another 90-99.9 % cell reduction still leaves 1 million to 100 million cells.
The logical procedure now would be to hit the tumor again with yet something else, (usually radiation or chemotherapy) that might attack the remaining cell population.
If left without treating a third time, it is possible that the tumor could return to its original size in as few as 6 weeks, factoring in the numbers mentioned above.
This is not encouraging news, but Sue and I are committed to battle this thing with all the fight we have in us. Feel free to send any positive vibes our way. We're going to need them.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
It pays to be wierd
What a difference a week makes. Last week at this time I had just had my skull opened up and a tumor taken out... and this week, I'm ready to pick up like nothing had happened.
I've had plenty of time to read and gather information on my present situation and I've learned some amazing things. That if you're a caucasian male over 50, you have basically a 2-3 in 100,000 chance of getting a tumor. Now the one I have or (had, I hope), is just a fraction of that number. In fact, a tumor in the cerebellum rarely occurs. Which is why I say it pays to be wierd. I never considered that to be an advantage, but I guess I'll stay with it.
I feel great, and although the 4 inch line of staples behind my right ear is not the best thing to see at the moment, I'm grateful for the fast action by the medical team at the Barrow's Neuroloical Instutute in Phoenix. Those people are THE BEST.
I witnessed first hand the other side of the coin. Guys with the same tumor in their cerebrum (the thinking part) and it made me realize how lucky I really was. Those people have a long and difficult recovery process, and a huge burden will be placed upon the people closest to them. I hope they get through it OK and can get their lives back on track. It won't be easy in any sense of the word.
I know I still have a long path ahead and I can't become complacent as time passes. It would become easy to do when you're feeling good and can forget about the trauma of the experience, but I need to be sure I don't. The quality of my life in the future depends on my never forgetting what just happened. I was incredibly fortunate, and with persistent awareness I can keep things this way.
I've had plenty of time to read and gather information on my present situation and I've learned some amazing things. That if you're a caucasian male over 50, you have basically a 2-3 in 100,000 chance of getting a tumor. Now the one I have or (had, I hope), is just a fraction of that number. In fact, a tumor in the cerebellum rarely occurs. Which is why I say it pays to be wierd. I never considered that to be an advantage, but I guess I'll stay with it.
I feel great, and although the 4 inch line of staples behind my right ear is not the best thing to see at the moment, I'm grateful for the fast action by the medical team at the Barrow's Neuroloical Instutute in Phoenix. Those people are THE BEST.
I witnessed first hand the other side of the coin. Guys with the same tumor in their cerebrum (the thinking part) and it made me realize how lucky I really was. Those people have a long and difficult recovery process, and a huge burden will be placed upon the people closest to them. I hope they get through it OK and can get their lives back on track. It won't be easy in any sense of the word.
I know I still have a long path ahead and I can't become complacent as time passes. It would become easy to do when you're feeling good and can forget about the trauma of the experience, but I need to be sure I don't. The quality of my life in the future depends on my never forgetting what just happened. I was incredibly fortunate, and with persistent awareness I can keep things this way.
Friday, March 24, 2006
It's been a wild week
Saturday thru Tuesday were bad days. Monday I couldn't keep anything down so we went to to doc on Tuesday morning. He told us to go to Barrows Neurological Institute ER as fast as we could arrange it and he would tell them I was coming. We went that afternoon and they admitted me to the ICU right away.
I had surgery the next day for the tumor and after spending the next few days there was released on Friday afternoon. The dizziness is gone, but I have a long road of radiation and Chemo therapy ahead. This tumor is somwhat of an oddity to they bacause tuomrs of this type aren't typically found in the cerebellum, but in the thinking part of the brain. This is extremely fortunate for me.
The Barrows folks are going to discuss my case and decide just what they are dealing with and how to treat it, but in the meantime I still need to focus on my life and my job and get back to normal as soon as possible. The sooner, the better.
I had surgery the next day for the tumor and after spending the next few days there was released on Friday afternoon. The dizziness is gone, but I have a long road of radiation and Chemo therapy ahead. This tumor is somwhat of an oddity to they bacause tuomrs of this type aren't typically found in the cerebellum, but in the thinking part of the brain. This is extremely fortunate for me.
The Barrows folks are going to discuss my case and decide just what they are dealing with and how to treat it, but in the meantime I still need to focus on my life and my job and get back to normal as soon as possible. The sooner, the better.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Astrocytoma
Astrocytoma doesn't seem like a very scary word, but it should. The beauty and the curse about the internet is that there's more information than is possible (or needed) on any subject that you care to look up. Words that you didn't know existed, suddenly become part of your everyday existence, and change the way you look at your life and the people around you. That's what happened here.
A couple of weeks ago, I began to have symptoms of vertigo. I had had the flu or something like it recently and attributed my sudden equilibrium problems to an inner ear instability. My brother had suffered through this and I first assumed it was something like this. My problem was that my imbalance would last for three or four days, and it was all I could do to work my way from the bed to the couch. I had migraines and the muscles at the back of my neck ached incessantly. After four days I was able to go to work, but the vertigo never totally left me. It just subsided to a point that I felt competent to move about and not look like I was on something.
I functioned reasonably well for a few days, when I woke up one day and it was back with a vengence. I spent the next four days barely able to negotiate from one point in my house to another. I was nauseated from the vertigo so bad at times that I found it necessary to scurry on my hands and knees to the bathroom the vomit.
The doctor ordered a CT scan and called me the very same evening to inform me that I had an astrocytoma on my cerebellum, or in simple language, a tumor at the base of my brain. At this point I am waiting to see him again to come up with a plan to deal with it, but knowing it's there and the cause for all my balance problems has changed my life.
Of course I went out the the internet right away and did my research. However, not having any specifics yet raised more questions than it answered. I now know that my vertigo will not pass on its own and that surgery is the primary method with dealing with an astrocytoma. The grade of severity is as of yet unknown to me, but I'm hoping from the sketchy information the doctor gave me, that my own problem is not as bad as it could be.
At this point, I am functioning on a level that's a fraction of what it was. I've always pushed my physical abilities when I hit the gym or taught martial arts, or even working in the yard around the house. For the moment, those times are all on hold and I just do what I can without aggravating my condition. This is not the way I viewed the beginning of this year, that's for sure.
A couple of weeks ago, I began to have symptoms of vertigo. I had had the flu or something like it recently and attributed my sudden equilibrium problems to an inner ear instability. My brother had suffered through this and I first assumed it was something like this. My problem was that my imbalance would last for three or four days, and it was all I could do to work my way from the bed to the couch. I had migraines and the muscles at the back of my neck ached incessantly. After four days I was able to go to work, but the vertigo never totally left me. It just subsided to a point that I felt competent to move about and not look like I was on something.
I functioned reasonably well for a few days, when I woke up one day and it was back with a vengence. I spent the next four days barely able to negotiate from one point in my house to another. I was nauseated from the vertigo so bad at times that I found it necessary to scurry on my hands and knees to the bathroom the vomit.
The doctor ordered a CT scan and called me the very same evening to inform me that I had an astrocytoma on my cerebellum, or in simple language, a tumor at the base of my brain. At this point I am waiting to see him again to come up with a plan to deal with it, but knowing it's there and the cause for all my balance problems has changed my life.
Of course I went out the the internet right away and did my research. However, not having any specifics yet raised more questions than it answered. I now know that my vertigo will not pass on its own and that surgery is the primary method with dealing with an astrocytoma. The grade of severity is as of yet unknown to me, but I'm hoping from the sketchy information the doctor gave me, that my own problem is not as bad as it could be.
At this point, I am functioning on a level that's a fraction of what it was. I've always pushed my physical abilities when I hit the gym or taught martial arts, or even working in the yard around the house. For the moment, those times are all on hold and I just do what I can without aggravating my condition. This is not the way I viewed the beginning of this year, that's for sure.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Another week gone
I started a new job on February 7. It's actually with a company I worked for before, and left to go to the job that laid me off. They were in need enough to want me back, so I took the position. It's a good thing I did, because other offers didn't come. I had a few people contact me, but they were just fishing and not actually interested in hiring me. In some cases, they were hoping I knew someone else that was looking for a job, but they weren't interested in me. That's a load of crap, but in cases like that, I don't even dignify their contact.
We've had the new Artha Gallery site up for about two and a half months now, but we seem to be drifting into obscurity. We've redone the site completely and added a lot more merchandise to broaden the appeal, but we are getting little activity. This is a puzzle and a disappointment. I'm not sure what to do about this at the moment, but it doesn't look like going with Yahoo was my best choice.
I'm glad February 2006 is history.
We've had the new Artha Gallery site up for about two and a half months now, but we seem to be drifting into obscurity. We've redone the site completely and added a lot more merchandise to broaden the appeal, but we are getting little activity. This is a puzzle and a disappointment. I'm not sure what to do about this at the moment, but it doesn't look like going with Yahoo was my best choice.
I'm glad February 2006 is history.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
On the street
Well, Tuesday turned out to be the low-light of the week. Budget cuts and lack of work forced my employer to let me go. Reality still hasn't sunk in yet; I guess I'm still in shock. Sue hasn't said much either. I guess she senses my disappointment and loss and prefers to just say silent.
Since I didn't sleep very well, I've already put my resume out on all the various job boards, but in all the years I've had it out there, nothing ever came of it. I don't expect anything more than that now. For the moment I just plan on taking the next several days doing things that have stacked up in the normal course of daily life.
I haven't come up with a plan as to what to do next. Maybe I'll just have breakfast and think about my options.
Since I didn't sleep very well, I've already put my resume out on all the various job boards, but in all the years I've had it out there, nothing ever came of it. I don't expect anything more than that now. For the moment I just plan on taking the next several days doing things that have stacked up in the normal course of daily life.
I haven't come up with a plan as to what to do next. Maybe I'll just have breakfast and think about my options.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Back to normal... sort of
Recovering from the holidays is underway and as a result the annual tradition of having more to do than time allows is also in full swing. Sometimes I feel like I'm at the precipice of chaos, without ever quite falling off it. Of course the load of stuff will eventually diminish and I’ll once again begin to feel like I have control over my time.
Sue and I got the last remaining links of Artha Gallery up and running, although there is still merchandise left to get on the site. This takes a little pressure off, and I can focus on some other matters for a bit.
The iPod Nano I got for Christmas makes my workouts at the gym seem a little less boring. I still am having trouble getting the after-holiday blues out of my system, so the momentum required to get my butt to the gym is ever-present.
Right now all I want to do is have some quiet time with Sue and forget about all of this other stuff.
Sue and I got the last remaining links of Artha Gallery up and running, although there is still merchandise left to get on the site. This takes a little pressure off, and I can focus on some other matters for a bit.
The iPod Nano I got for Christmas makes my workouts at the gym seem a little less boring. I still am having trouble getting the after-holiday blues out of my system, so the momentum required to get my butt to the gym is ever-present.
Right now all I want to do is have some quiet time with Sue and forget about all of this other stuff.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Happy 2006! Where did 2005 go?
I can hardly believe this year has flashed by the way it did. At this point last year I was packing up to relocate back to Arizona, after a fantastic year in Seoul, Korea. Man, how I miss that place! I know now that if the conditions were conducive, I would move back there in a heartbeat. Living in Arizona has lost its appeal for me. I'm here because I have to live somewhere and work somewhere, but I can say now that this is not the right place.
Sue and I have accomplished a lot though. We both are working, bought a home, and have settled in about as much as any normal couple could be expected. I'm teaching Shinkendo through one of the local city parks and recreation associations and am enjoying it very much. I have always liked teaching, and this give me the double satisfaction of doing something I like and introducing new kids to the art. It's a great oportunity for me.
The most significant personal accomplishment we made is to restart ownership of a retail web site. You can find it at Artha Gallery. A long time friend (who in fact I have yet to meet in person) had this site and offered it to me to take over. Sue and I had considered cranking up a site, and when this chance was placed before us, it seemed like the right opportunity at the right time. We shall see. We don't expect to quit our day jobs any time in the near future, but it may offer us some other way of saving a little more money for the future.
Sue and I have accomplished a lot though. We both are working, bought a home, and have settled in about as much as any normal couple could be expected. I'm teaching Shinkendo through one of the local city parks and recreation associations and am enjoying it very much. I have always liked teaching, and this give me the double satisfaction of doing something I like and introducing new kids to the art. It's a great oportunity for me.
The most significant personal accomplishment we made is to restart ownership of a retail web site. You can find it at Artha Gallery. A long time friend (who in fact I have yet to meet in person) had this site and offered it to me to take over. Sue and I had considered cranking up a site, and when this chance was placed before us, it seemed like the right opportunity at the right time. We shall see. We don't expect to quit our day jobs any time in the near future, but it may offer us some other way of saving a little more money for the future.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Blog cancer
Yes, it appears to be true that my poor blog, which never did anything to hurt anyone, is dying a slow and painful death. It was never my intention to let this happen. I tried to do all of the right things to keep it healthy. Nevertheless, it contracted this condition through ignorance and the fact that it's not the most important thing in my daily life.
However, I am hoping to bring it back from the brink of death. There is much to be told and commented on. Ten months have passed since my last entry, and since I am no Rumplestiltskin, I also have not been idle. In fact a great deal has happened. Actually , I made my last meaningful entry on December 18. Geez, Has it been so long already? I guess so.
Everything about our life has changed since then, and fighting to keep this blog alive may also help me retain some semblance of keeping my life on track and ordering my thoughts.
It's a hope anyway.
However, I am hoping to bring it back from the brink of death. There is much to be told and commented on. Ten months have passed since my last entry, and since I am no Rumplestiltskin, I also have not been idle. In fact a great deal has happened. Actually , I made my last meaningful entry on December 18. Geez, Has it been so long already? I guess so.
Everything about our life has changed since then, and fighting to keep this blog alive may also help me retain some semblance of keeping my life on track and ordering my thoughts.
It's a hope anyway.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Big Changes
Lately, I seem to be suffering from a bit of guilt for not posting to this journal as I have promised everyone... including myself.
However, a great deal has happened in the past few weeks, and I have attempted to put my best effort where it would do the most good. Unfortunately this meant that my blog would be pushed off until I could have the time to give it the appropriate attention.
Major changes have taken place for us, and the one we have talked about... that is, the move from Seoul, Korea, back to the USA, has taken place. Well, at least most of the move has. I am here and working on reestablishing our life as we wish it. You know, the usual... find a place to live, get a car, phone, internet connection, blah, blah, blah. And once that is done to some satisfactory level, find a new job.
Well, most of the major obstacles have been cleared, so I will begin the arduous task of getting my resume out there in hopes someone will give it a look. Ha!! With the present state of the job market still in the doldrums, wish me luck. I am always cautiously optimistic. Finding new employment now is sort of like jumping on a moving train, piloted with Bush's hand on the throttle... scary!! Oh yeah… If anyone has a good idea I haven’t thought of to make this task more triumphant, I’m all ears.
So where is Sue during all of this?
She is still in Seoul, tidying up the remnants of our life there, and spending some final treasured moments with her family. It’s tough being apart, but it was the only plan we could come up with to make the best use of our energy. Thank God for new technology though. We have been having video chats with our Macs and iSight, which makes the distance between us seem less afar. Just to catch a glimpse of her smiling face (just when I need it) is all the lift I need sometimes. I’ll be glad when this separation is passed us though. I miss her more than she knows.
I plan to catch everyone up on the past few weeks (with pictures), as time permits. There is plenty to share, and I want to get it all down before the excitement of the moments remembered fade and the details become foggy. My memory is pretty good, but after all this time, my brain is getting full.
However, a great deal has happened in the past few weeks, and I have attempted to put my best effort where it would do the most good. Unfortunately this meant that my blog would be pushed off until I could have the time to give it the appropriate attention.
Major changes have taken place for us, and the one we have talked about... that is, the move from Seoul, Korea, back to the USA, has taken place. Well, at least most of the move has. I am here and working on reestablishing our life as we wish it. You know, the usual... find a place to live, get a car, phone, internet connection, blah, blah, blah. And once that is done to some satisfactory level, find a new job.
Well, most of the major obstacles have been cleared, so I will begin the arduous task of getting my resume out there in hopes someone will give it a look. Ha!! With the present state of the job market still in the doldrums, wish me luck. I am always cautiously optimistic. Finding new employment now is sort of like jumping on a moving train, piloted with Bush's hand on the throttle... scary!! Oh yeah… If anyone has a good idea I haven’t thought of to make this task more triumphant, I’m all ears.
So where is Sue during all of this?
She is still in Seoul, tidying up the remnants of our life there, and spending some final treasured moments with her family. It’s tough being apart, but it was the only plan we could come up with to make the best use of our energy. Thank God for new technology though. We have been having video chats with our Macs and iSight, which makes the distance between us seem less afar. Just to catch a glimpse of her smiling face (just when I need it) is all the lift I need sometimes. I’ll be glad when this separation is passed us though. I miss her more than she knows.
I plan to catch everyone up on the past few weeks (with pictures), as time permits. There is plenty to share, and I want to get it all down before the excitement of the moments remembered fade and the details become foggy. My memory is pretty good, but after all this time, my brain is getting full.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Yeah... we all get busy
You'll notice that I haven't put anything up in a little while, but it has been because I don't think about it. In the last couple of weeks before my departure from Seoul, there has been a long list of activities to attend to... dismantling our life here in Korea and reestablishing one back in the USA. As a result, getting something significant written and published on my journal here has fallen to a secondary event.
In conjunction with this, my youngest son (Aaron) has come to spend our last week here with us. It's his first real international experience and his first trip to Korea. We are trying to give him a nice cross-section of Korean culture and the life here, and he seems to be taking it all in with great enthusiasm.
Once I've made the flight back to Arizona and gotten my system back on-line, I'll be back on schedule and putting up some pictures of our recent escapades. Until then, look back over what I've done or check out one of the other blogs. There's lots off good reading out there.
In conjunction with this, my youngest son (Aaron) has come to spend our last week here with us. It's his first real international experience and his first trip to Korea. We are trying to give him a nice cross-section of Korean culture and the life here, and he seems to be taking it all in with great enthusiasm.
Once I've made the flight back to Arizona and gotten my system back on-line, I'll be back on schedule and putting up some pictures of our recent escapades. Until then, look back over what I've done or check out one of the other blogs. There's lots off good reading out there.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Sue's Korean Embroidery Project
Sue has finally completed what turned out to be a four year project. She has been working on some Korean embroidery panels to be built into four especially designed wood cabinets since she first came to America in 2001. The one you see above is the largest of the four.
I am especially proud of her efforts on this, because this kind of embroidery is painstaking work of weaving one silk thread at a time into the pictures on silk material for each panel section. All of the shading on each of the pictures is done with different color silk thread, giving the images a 3-dimensional look. Once finished, each panel must be sealed on the back in preparation for the cabinet work.
Because we are about to return to the USA, it was important for her to complete all of her embroidery work before we left. Now that all of the panels were completed, we took the finished work to a local business that specialized in this kind of Korean art form, where he cut up the embroidry into the individual panels and built them into the cabinet you see.
Embroidery, originally uploaded by tgolamb.
Here is a closeup of Sue's embroidery handiwork. It is much more beautiful in person than in this photo, and you can get a better appreciation of the thousands of hours it took her to do it all. Even though this was more of a hobby project and a personal goal to accomplish, the woman at the business that specializes in this kind of art form gave Sue high compliments for the professionalism of her ability. This added an extra exclamation point to the completion of this job for her, and I am thrilled at her dedication to getting it all done.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Christmas in Korea
Christmas in Korea, originally uploaded by tgolamb.
A few people have asked me if we are doing anything for Christmas here... if we are decorating, etc. So I thought I would answer that question for everyone. The answer is no.
If we were planning to stay here longer (which we had originally), we might be going to some lengths to spruce up our humble apartment with some holiday cheer. We didn't bring any sort of Christmas decor with us, so this would mean we would have to make some purchases here. Now that we have decided to leave Korea, and are actually in the process of packing everything up in preparation for our departure right after the first of the year, the appearance of decorations for the Christmas holiday is entirely absent.
The picture you see above happens to be the sum total of our obvious Christmas cheer, and this was purely by accident. Sue and I needed some tissues to assist us in recovering from our colds, and this box was the only single one she could find in the store. It does add a curious bit of color to an otherwise spartanly festooned apartment.
It does feel quite strange though. I have always had some degree of Christmas adornment, including a Christmas tree, in wherever I lived in the USA, even when living alone. I remember even having an oddly decorated tree on the aircraft carrier Coral Sea, while I served in the Navy during the Vietnam War.
Just as Thanksgiving had passed us by here without even so much as a whimper, I’m afraid so will Christmas. I have already promised myself that 2005 will usher in a new spirit of Christmas for us, and we will make up for what we have sacrificed in 2004.
If we were planning to stay here longer (which we had originally), we might be going to some lengths to spruce up our humble apartment with some holiday cheer. We didn't bring any sort of Christmas decor with us, so this would mean we would have to make some purchases here. Now that we have decided to leave Korea, and are actually in the process of packing everything up in preparation for our departure right after the first of the year, the appearance of decorations for the Christmas holiday is entirely absent.
The picture you see above happens to be the sum total of our obvious Christmas cheer, and this was purely by accident. Sue and I needed some tissues to assist us in recovering from our colds, and this box was the only single one she could find in the store. It does add a curious bit of color to an otherwise spartanly festooned apartment.
It does feel quite strange though. I have always had some degree of Christmas adornment, including a Christmas tree, in wherever I lived in the USA, even when living alone. I remember even having an oddly decorated tree on the aircraft carrier Coral Sea, while I served in the Navy during the Vietnam War.
Just as Thanksgiving had passed us by here without even so much as a whimper, I’m afraid so will Christmas. I have already promised myself that 2005 will usher in a new spirit of Christmas for us, and we will make up for what we have sacrificed in 2004.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Thursday at the movies
TV here has gotten to be a real drag. I've probably mentioned this before, so I won't rehash the point too much. Even our favorites like CSI are being shown for the umpteenth time, making our evenings a challenge to find something interesting and certainly within the law to do.
Anyway, we wandered over to the little video store down the block to see if there was anything of interest. As we reviewed the selection of English films, which can take all of three minutes (anyone desiring anything in the adult movie category would find their selection more than adequate), we ran across a movie I didn't know much about. Tim Burton's Big Fish was one I had heard of, but avoided for some reason. I don't know why. Well, since it was about the only one we hadn't seen, we brought it home to give it a look.
I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't a blockbuster type of movie, but it was fun entertainment... kind of a silly, fantasy, romantic-comedy, with an interesting blend of characters (I happen to like Albert Finney). It was a nice change from the cop, mystery, conspiracy, heavy CGI, things blowing up kind of movie, and I'm glad we took the chance to give it a try.
Monday, December 06, 2004
Ultimate Solitaire
My previous comments about Eric's Ultimate Solitaire, and the discovery of Ambrosia's upgrade of Apeiron to Mac OS X got me thinking... "I wonder..."
So I did a quick search and to my (almost) surprise found that Eric's Ultimate Solitaire is currently in upgrade mode to Mac OS X as well. It has some interesting small enhancements if you poke around a little. This is another great little time waster, and I have owned the original version for just about ten years. You can get the OS X version of this is in an Alpha test version at Delta Tao Software.
The download of this is only good until Feb. 2005, but I'm guessing they plan to have the final version ready for purchase by that time. This should be plenty of time for you to get hooked on it. They also have Eric's Ultimate Solitaire for PC too.
Apeiron for Mac OS X
Ambrosia has put out some great software for many years. I you aren't acquainted with them, I encourage you to give them a look. They put out some terrific games and utilities, some of which I have been playing for a long time.
Apeiron is one of these. It is similar to the old classic Centipede game, and although I never played that, when I first downloaded the Shareware version of Apeiron some years back, I was hooked. High scores became a family feud, which I was often on the losing end when facing off with my two sons, but I always had a great time with it.
When I upgraded my software to Mac OS X, I was a little disappointed in how Apeiron worked in OS 9. Ambrosia was continuing to develop new software, but I still liked the old classics.
Apeiron is one of these. It is similar to the old classic Centipede game, and although I never played that, when I first downloaded the Shareware version of Apeiron some years back, I was hooked. High scores became a family feud, which I was often on the losing end when facing off with my two sons, but I always had a great time with it.
When I upgraded my software to Mac OS X, I was a little disappointed in how Apeiron worked in OS 9. Ambrosia was continuing to develop new software, but I still liked the old classics.
I was thrilled when Ambrosia just announced that they had released the OS X version of Apeiron. I immediately went out and upgraded my old version, which was a bargain at $5. The initial price of $15 is still a great buy for this game. It is addictiive and a fantastic way to waste a little time (or in some people's case, a lot). The new version also includes links to add your high scores to the internet base, and also lets you view others who have made it their mission to put up scores so high that it will be several lifetimes, before I'll accumulate enough points to be their equal. However, this has not stopped me from giving it my best. Sue also has found it necessary to take a break from Ultimate Solitaire to satisfy her closet addiction to Apeiron. It's frustrating, unforgiving, and lots of fun. I hope Ambrosia continues the upgrading of their other classic games and makes them also OS X worthy. I'll be waiting.
Monday, November 29, 2004
Mission accomplished... Wahoo!
Anyone who knows me very well, knows that I have been an Apple Computer advocate since... well forever. I enjoy working with them and I supported them as a developer and system administrator in my prior employment for many years.
Earlier this year I purchased a 15 Gb iPod and planned to fully load it with my library of music. Well, life and its associated priorities tend to get in the way of plans less significant, so although I had made a partial stand at doing it (and was happy with what I had done by the way), I never found the block of time I needed to complete the project. However, now that Sue and I are winding down our life in Korea, we have less to do and all the time in the world to do it, and projects like finishing my iPod music became realistic.
I am delighted to report that this is one project finally completed for the moment... although like anything of this nature it is a work in progress and will never be completely done. At any rate, at this moment all of the music I have and deemed worthy has been transferred from my iBook to my iPod. What is truly amazing is that this little 2.5 X 4 inch little unit could hold so much. It makes me wonder why anyone would consider having anything else to store and listen to music on. To date, mine has store about 2500 songs, amounting to somewhere over 200 albums and only has taken up about 11.5 Gb in storage, meaning I still have a little over 2 Gb left for future additions. Truly amazing when you think about it. I could listen continuously for more than a week and never hear the same song twice, which is better than I could hope for from any radio station. I'm more impressed with my iPod every time I delve more into it's capabilities... and I only use it for music. I know it does much more.
iTunesScreen, originally uploaded by tgolamb.
My iTunes on my iBook is equally amazing. My music interests run the gambit, from Punk to Classical... from Korn to Motzart to Uttara-Kuru to Consolidated (of course I do draw the line at Rap). Needless to say, I have lots of variations in my playlists and how I arrange my listening categories and genres. iTunes lets me do this with the greatest of ease, and although it was a LOT of work, it even lets me put in the album artwork. This can be particularly important as my music library grows and becomes even more diverse (as if that was possible). If you've never taken a look at compiling your music library like this, I encourage you to give it a glance. You might find it changes your thoughts on the matter. I can tell you that now that I have my music united into a central and easily manageable personal audio studio, my CDs may never again see the light of day. Isn't technology great?
Monster Island?
On our trip back to the USA from Korea at the beginning of November, our flight routed us through Japan with a layover in Tokyo. As we approached Tokyo, I looked out the window and happen to catch a glimpse of this apparently dormant volcano. I snapped a couple pictures and promptly forgot about them. It was only after going back through my digital camera that I ran across them again.
Now I watched plenty of Godzilla films as a kid, and at one time I knew the details of them as intimately as anyone my age. As I looked at the picture again I had to wonder, could this be Monster Island? Hmmm...
It's just a guy thing...
CraneDone, originally uploaded by tgolamb.
My wife has recently been calling me a country boy in a big city. This is all due to the major construction that has been going on next to our building since we moved in. We can look out our window and track its progress, which is what I've done from time to time. However, since they've been in the beginning stages for so long, it's only recently that the action has picked up.
They laid in some underground structural iron work and I knew it would only be a matter of time before the work picked up some speed. Now there are huge cranes all over Seoul; you can see them everywhere. As I looked at those, I could not imagine how they got those things assembled and working. I'm not a construction savvy guy, but I'm fascinated by the immensity of some of the equipment they use, and I always wondered, "How do they put those things together?"
My wife just sort of rolls her eyes when she catches me scrutinizing the job, but I just tell her, "Hey, it's just a guy thing I guess."
Anyway, they finally piled up the pieces to put up a crane at this site, so I took the opportunity to document for myself just how they do this. In case you were wondering yourself, the above photos should give you an idea. It only took these guys a couple of days to have it up and running, and I was impressed with the way they got it done. I also now understand how they will add sections when they need to make it taller. If I had a hard hat and could speak Korean, you could bet I'd be down there asking all sorts of questions (much to Sue's chagrin).
I made points with Sue though. She was commenting on the new portable cranes they had down there. I took her to the window and explained that those were actually cement pumpers, and described the process of what they were doing. She was quite surprised and impressed with my knowledge of the whole thing, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that this was general knowledge most dudes picked up in "Guy-101". Hey just watch a little of the Discovery Channel, some Home Improvement, bang around a little in your own garage and you're ready to go. More power, yeah!!
I did enjoy the praise though.
They laid in some underground structural iron work and I knew it would only be a matter of time before the work picked up some speed. Now there are huge cranes all over Seoul; you can see them everywhere. As I looked at those, I could not imagine how they got those things assembled and working. I'm not a construction savvy guy, but I'm fascinated by the immensity of some of the equipment they use, and I always wondered, "How do they put those things together?"
My wife just sort of rolls her eyes when she catches me scrutinizing the job, but I just tell her, "Hey, it's just a guy thing I guess."
Anyway, they finally piled up the pieces to put up a crane at this site, so I took the opportunity to document for myself just how they do this. In case you were wondering yourself, the above photos should give you an idea. It only took these guys a couple of days to have it up and running, and I was impressed with the way they got it done. I also now understand how they will add sections when they need to make it taller. If I had a hard hat and could speak Korean, you could bet I'd be down there asking all sorts of questions (much to Sue's chagrin).
I made points with Sue though. She was commenting on the new portable cranes they had down there. I took her to the window and explained that those were actually cement pumpers, and described the process of what they were doing. She was quite surprised and impressed with my knowledge of the whole thing, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that this was general knowledge most dudes picked up in "Guy-101". Hey just watch a little of the Discovery Channel, some Home Improvement, bang around a little in your own garage and you're ready to go. More power, yeah!!
I did enjoy the praise though.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Blogs a plenty
My wife was still asleep this morning, and since I had already read and answered all my email, read the news of interest, I decided to poke around Blogger.com for a bit by clicking on "Next Blog" to see what was out there.
I found it interesting and worthy of a little of my time. In doing so, I realized several things. Here is my "Top 10 list" of what I learned:
1. There are a lot of people out there experimenting and enjoying the blog experience.
2. There are a lot of people out there with an axe to grind. All that's missing is the soap box.
3. There are a lot of people out there who have no idea what to do with their spare time. Maybe they should find a life away from their computer.
4. There are a lot of people out there with silly, blockheaded, and sometimes vulgar ideas about with to do with their blog. Freedom of speech can be a powerfully good and regretably bad thing in front of an unknown audience.
5. There are a lot of people out there who have some important things to say about serious issues. I promised myself to take more time to look at these in the future.
6. There are a lot of people out there contributing to a common blog collective who speak many different languages. Who knew there were so many?
7. There are a lot of things I don't know about what else is happening in the world, but would like to. I will keep working at this until my brain is full.
8. There are now a lot of things I'd like to say, but don't know how to express them.
9. I have come to realize how insignificant and yet important my one voice is among the many now contributing to the chorus of voices out there.
10. I think everyone should take the time I did and wander around to see what else is out there. It's not a critical "must do", but it will open your eyes to the volume of thoughts and ideas so very different from your own.
I found it interesting and worthy of a little of my time. In doing so, I realized several things. Here is my "Top 10 list" of what I learned:
1. There are a lot of people out there experimenting and enjoying the blog experience.
2. There are a lot of people out there with an axe to grind. All that's missing is the soap box.
3. There are a lot of people out there who have no idea what to do with their spare time. Maybe they should find a life away from their computer.
4. There are a lot of people out there with silly, blockheaded, and sometimes vulgar ideas about with to do with their blog. Freedom of speech can be a powerfully good and regretably bad thing in front of an unknown audience.
5. There are a lot of people out there who have some important things to say about serious issues. I promised myself to take more time to look at these in the future.
6. There are a lot of people out there contributing to a common blog collective who speak many different languages. Who knew there were so many?
7. There are a lot of things I don't know about what else is happening in the world, but would like to. I will keep working at this until my brain is full.
8. There are now a lot of things I'd like to say, but don't know how to express them.
9. I have come to realize how insignificant and yet important my one voice is among the many now contributing to the chorus of voices out there.
10. I think everyone should take the time I did and wander around to see what else is out there. It's not a critical "must do", but it will open your eyes to the volume of thoughts and ideas so very different from your own.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Planes and Noodles
OK, we've made the trip back to Seoul for the last time. This last trip was real torture too.
Normally we don't mind it so much. Although the 12 hours or so is a -- not so great -- way to spend your time, the airlines do a pretty goood job of feeding you, entertaining you, and giving you what comfort they can under the circumstances. We've flown Asiana, American, Singapore, and we both feel that Singapore Air is definitely the best among the three, so far. We'll be trying Korean Air too, so judgement has yet to be passed on it.
Anyway, the reason the last trip was so bad has nothing to do with the airline we took. The 6000 miles was an eternity due to a young child of maybe a year old or less. I swear, she must have cried, yelled, or otherwise made a ruckus once a minute for the entire time we were on the plane. Everyone around us was wornout as well. I felt sorry for the parents, but not enough to not be frustrated with them. Next time I'm taking a set of ear plugs with me.
After we got back we treated ourselves to one of my favorite restaurants here called Pho Hoa. It's Vietnamese style food, tasty and a great treat when you're hungry. You can check out their web sites at:
http://www.phohoa.com/ -- or -- http://www.phohoa.co.kr/
I really love the rice noodles there, and get them every time we go. One of these days I'll try something else, but I'm in no hurry. I like what I like and that's good enough for me.
Normally we don't mind it so much. Although the 12 hours or so is a -- not so great -- way to spend your time, the airlines do a pretty goood job of feeding you, entertaining you, and giving you what comfort they can under the circumstances. We've flown Asiana, American, Singapore, and we both feel that Singapore Air is definitely the best among the three, so far. We'll be trying Korean Air too, so judgement has yet to be passed on it.
Anyway, the reason the last trip was so bad has nothing to do with the airline we took. The 6000 miles was an eternity due to a young child of maybe a year old or less. I swear, she must have cried, yelled, or otherwise made a ruckus once a minute for the entire time we were on the plane. Everyone around us was wornout as well. I felt sorry for the parents, but not enough to not be frustrated with them. Next time I'm taking a set of ear plugs with me.
After we got back we treated ourselves to one of my favorite restaurants here called Pho Hoa. It's Vietnamese style food, tasty and a great treat when you're hungry. You can check out their web sites at:
http://www.phohoa.com/ -- or -- http://www.phohoa.co.kr/
I really love the rice noodles there, and get them every time we go. One of these days I'll try something else, but I'm in no hurry. I like what I like and that's good enough for me.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Back in Arizona
Sue and I have been in Arizona for a couple of days now, and in some ways it feels like we've never left. Not much has changed, but the environment has a different feel to it. Staying in a hotel in my own home town feels strange to be sure.
One of the things we didn't expect is that the change in climate has left both of us quite dehydrated most of the time. We have had to increase our intake of fluids, but so far it hasn't helped a lot. We both still feel like we need to drink more to get our systems back in balance.
We took a break from looking at future apartments the other day and went to see the new movie "The Incredibles." Funny movie. Animation has come a long way, but the humor translates fine. I'm sure the subtle adult humor is something that passes most kids by, just as it did me when I was young, but all the kids in the theater seemed to enjoy it as much as we did.
One of the things we didn't expect is that the change in climate has left both of us quite dehydrated most of the time. We have had to increase our intake of fluids, but so far it hasn't helped a lot. We both still feel like we need to drink more to get our systems back in balance.
We took a break from looking at future apartments the other day and went to see the new movie "The Incredibles." Funny movie. Animation has come a long way, but the humor translates fine. I'm sure the subtle adult humor is something that passes most kids by, just as it did me when I was young, but all the kids in the theater seemed to enjoy it as much as we did.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
No pain, No gain
As you can see from the dates, we haven't written much lately. Not much has happened here, and we have been (for the most part) focused on getting ready for our visit to Arizona, and for our relocation back to the states early next year.
We've consistently been hitting the gym and I think it's beginning to show some results. Over the past couple of years our lifestyle changed causing us to be more sedentary. As a result, we got a little softer, and I lost some of the muscle mass I had built up. Getting our diet back in line with the right proteins and carbs has helped, but getting the right workout combination of weight training and aerobic workouts has made a big difference in the way we feel and look. I am regaining some my lost muscle, although it hasn’t been without some pains, to be sure. Sue and I both enjoy the new us, and I think we feel we are getting to the point to where, if we don’t get out and get some sort of workout, we have missed an important part of our day. I hope that is now a habit we can sustain. Our new approach inspired me to get my certification as fitness trainer. Although the credential is nice, the education I received in the process was well worth the effort. I wish now that I had done it earlier.
We've consistently been hitting the gym and I think it's beginning to show some results. Over the past couple of years our lifestyle changed causing us to be more sedentary. As a result, we got a little softer, and I lost some of the muscle mass I had built up. Getting our diet back in line with the right proteins and carbs has helped, but getting the right workout combination of weight training and aerobic workouts has made a big difference in the way we feel and look. I am regaining some my lost muscle, although it hasn’t been without some pains, to be sure. Sue and I both enjoy the new us, and I think we feel we are getting to the point to where, if we don’t get out and get some sort of workout, we have missed an important part of our day. I hope that is now a habit we can sustain. Our new approach inspired me to get my certification as fitness trainer. Although the credential is nice, the education I received in the process was well worth the effort. I wish now that I had done it earlier.
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