Saturday, May 03, 2008

I am my brother's keeper

I have taken a turn in my life that was both sudden and unexpected. I guess in the back of my mind I had a feeling that it would eventually come to pass.

As I've already stated in the past, my younger brother was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) which is complicated by frontal lobe dementia. His steady downgrading has become more apparent and I can really begin to see him losing the part that was my little brother.

He has not been able to eat normally, and subsequently has lost a lot of weight. A week ago he got an overdue addition of a feeding tube placed in him so he could take in nourishment. However, that has not gone well. He lives alone and it seems does not have what it takes to look after himself anymore.

A week ago I didn’t know anything about becoming a guardian for another person, but by mid week it was clear that this was exactly what I needed to do. Friday, I spent the majority of the day applying to be a guardian and conservator for my brother. I'm finding out that it’s a very involved process, and requires a number of court appearances to make it permanent. By order of the court, I also had to find an attorney to represent my brother. The whole process is involved and from the look of it, expensive.

For someone trying to do the right thing, and asking nothing in return, it is a stressful and thankless process. I do not know how other people do it.

Let’s see how it goes.

Update: In the end, I decided that this was not the thing to do. I withdrew all petitions placed before the court, before the first hearing date. By taking over my brother's decision making, I basically rob him of his individual civil rights. I will help him as much as I can, but I will not take his basic liberties away from him. As much as I can help it, he will retain these until the day he no longer is able. I love him too much to do anything else.

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